![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
(no subject)
May. 18th, 2009 | 01:53 am
Raven never could understand why love had to be difficult. You love someone, you be with them, all others are forsaken. Feelings for other's should be easily stopped, no problem. Temptations hard to resist.
......
Then again, he had always been on the losing end of those kind of battles. There's nothing better then spending your life being "Sorry, it's not you, it's me." He learned early on that a pretty face only got you so much, never promised you'd be able to keep any of it.
It was easy for him to put everything into the one he knew meant the most to him, he'd done it all his life. All but once had it been for naught, but she had lost her heart and was now just a face on a Nobody.... Not even female anymore.
It had hurt so much when he had seen the blonde walk into his bakery. Everything he had loved and lost rested behind that one orange eye, but... It was no longer the girl he loved... Or who loved him back. Not only that, but, he had brought his lover with him. A pretty, little lilac haired, freckle thing. Talk about pouring salt in the wound.
At least, now, he wouldn't turn his head when he thought he saw her pretty face in a crowd... Or forget how to breathe when he thought he smelt her sweet scent. He stopped closing his eyes and wanting to die when he thought he heard her voice. He stopped dreaming of the way she felt when he held her, or how her smile and reassuring touch had never failed to make him feel better. He still regretted the time he wasted ignoring her, but...
Now, he had Royce. It was different for sure, but... It was love. He'd felt this before. For Royce, it was stronger then most of the other cases of love he'd been in.
He'd never really been in love with another man before. Jun didn't count. Jun might have had the body of a man but.... He played the part of a female rather well. Royce however, was solid male. From his arrogant smile and scruff covered chin all the way down to his feet. Raven loved every inch of who he was. Inside and out. Once he had discovered that he wasn't all gruff and cold, he couldn't help but to fall right into him. Royce, however, had started it.
..................................
Raven laid in bed alone, staring at the ceiling. One hand twitching slightly on his stomach, the other rested against his forehead. He hated when Royce wasn't sleeping beside him. He always felt empty and alone when he had to spend his nights alone. He felt so incomplete. Did he really fall for Royce this hard... To need his this much only after such a short while?
Apparently he had. Maybe it was his romantic nature wanting to be fed, or maybe it was just the fact he knew he wanted Royce that much.
....
Maybe he should actually go and join in with that band of Keybladers. He could be closer to Royce.... And not have to lose sleep during the night, wondering if Royce was alright or if he was going to come back at all. He knew he should have more faith in Royce then that, but.... He wasn't to the point of believing it yet. He hated to admit that he didn't have full and complete trust in Royce.... It wasn't Royce's fault, it was his. His fault and all those girls that had turned on him as soon as he wanted to be in it for the long haul.
He let out a long, deep, frustrated sigh and closed his eyes. He turned in the bed, hugging his pillow to his head.
Great how his own insecurites liked to gang up on him like this. If Royce were here, he wouldn' be thinking such awful things....
"Fuck..." He groaned into the pillow. It was going to be another one of those long nights.
......
Then again, he had always been on the losing end of those kind of battles. There's nothing better then spending your life being "Sorry, it's not you, it's me." He learned early on that a pretty face only got you so much, never promised you'd be able to keep any of it.
It was easy for him to put everything into the one he knew meant the most to him, he'd done it all his life. All but once had it been for naught, but she had lost her heart and was now just a face on a Nobody.... Not even female anymore.
It had hurt so much when he had seen the blonde walk into his bakery. Everything he had loved and lost rested behind that one orange eye, but... It was no longer the girl he loved... Or who loved him back. Not only that, but, he had brought his lover with him. A pretty, little lilac haired, freckle thing. Talk about pouring salt in the wound.
At least, now, he wouldn't turn his head when he thought he saw her pretty face in a crowd... Or forget how to breathe when he thought he smelt her sweet scent. He stopped closing his eyes and wanting to die when he thought he heard her voice. He stopped dreaming of the way she felt when he held her, or how her smile and reassuring touch had never failed to make him feel better. He still regretted the time he wasted ignoring her, but...
Now, he had Royce. It was different for sure, but... It was love. He'd felt this before. For Royce, it was stronger then most of the other cases of love he'd been in.
He'd never really been in love with another man before. Jun didn't count. Jun might have had the body of a man but.... He played the part of a female rather well. Royce however, was solid male. From his arrogant smile and scruff covered chin all the way down to his feet. Raven loved every inch of who he was. Inside and out. Once he had discovered that he wasn't all gruff and cold, he couldn't help but to fall right into him. Royce, however, had started it.
..................................
Raven laid in bed alone, staring at the ceiling. One hand twitching slightly on his stomach, the other rested against his forehead. He hated when Royce wasn't sleeping beside him. He always felt empty and alone when he had to spend his nights alone. He felt so incomplete. Did he really fall for Royce this hard... To need his this much only after such a short while?
Apparently he had. Maybe it was his romantic nature wanting to be fed, or maybe it was just the fact he knew he wanted Royce that much.
....
Maybe he should actually go and join in with that band of Keybladers. He could be closer to Royce.... And not have to lose sleep during the night, wondering if Royce was alright or if he was going to come back at all. He knew he should have more faith in Royce then that, but.... He wasn't to the point of believing it yet. He hated to admit that he didn't have full and complete trust in Royce.... It wasn't Royce's fault, it was his. His fault and all those girls that had turned on him as soon as he wanted to be in it for the long haul.
He let out a long, deep, frustrated sigh and closed his eyes. He turned in the bed, hugging his pillow to his head.
Great how his own insecurites liked to gang up on him like this. If Royce were here, he wouldn' be thinking such awful things....
"Fuck..." He groaned into the pillow. It was going to be another one of those long nights.
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
FEH... So not worth posting I:
Apr. 27th, 2009 | 03:15 pm
mood: 
aggravated
It was almost enough to make her cry.
How long ago had it been since she'd actually woken up to Kemix...? How long had it been since she hadn't dreading waking up to an empty bed...?
It was almost like a dream come true. This eloping to Hawaii with him was a good idea.
She stretched her arm over his chest and curled up to him, kicking a leg over his. She purred softly and nuzzled to his chest. His arm wrapped around her and he gave a soft chuckle.
In a moment like this, it was hard to remember why she always felt so miserable.
She ran a nail over his chest, connecting his freckles with an invisible line. He gave another chuckle and kissed the top of her head.
"Mornin'."
She smiled, placing a kiss on his collar bone in return.
"Morning to you too Kemix."
(( FUCK. Lost it |: ))
How long ago had it been since she'd actually woken up to Kemix...? How long had it been since she hadn't dreading waking up to an empty bed...?
It was almost like a dream come true. This eloping to Hawaii with him was a good idea.
She stretched her arm over his chest and curled up to him, kicking a leg over his. She purred softly and nuzzled to his chest. His arm wrapped around her and he gave a soft chuckle.
In a moment like this, it was hard to remember why she always felt so miserable.
She ran a nail over his chest, connecting his freckles with an invisible line. He gave another chuckle and kissed the top of her head.
"Mornin'."
She smiled, placing a kiss on his collar bone in return.
"Morning to you too Kemix."
(( FUCK. Lost it |: ))
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
(no subject)
Apr. 1st, 2009 | 12:13 am
The hooded figure stood over the Keyblader. He really hadn't been expecting that at all.
He had taken a faceful of gold and he could feel his face stinging and seering from where the hot pieces of gold had cut and imbedded into his skin. His arms and chest felt the same way, damn she'd gotten him good. He coughed and pushed himself up on his knees, his keyblade, the Ocean's Squall had been knocked out of his reach.
"Tsk. For a keyblader, you have suck ass reflexes." The female voice came from under the hood. Hazel eyes glared back at the dark figure, only to widen in surprise and pain when he felt the hard toe of her boot connect with his ribs, knocking him back over.
"Don't look at me like that." She snapped, her exposed hands glowing a faint violet color.... A few of her golden, what looked like coins, floating in the air around her, also holding that glowing color. "You're the one that came at me first. I was minding my own business."
"Yeah well...." The blonde under her foot grunted in pain as he tried to sit up again. "You're the Nobody."
"And that automatically makes me the bad guy, does it?" She asked with a laugh, throwing her glowing hands on her hips. "Fuck you Keyblader."
"Yeah yeah..... Heartless bitch."
"Oh yeah, that struck a nerve." Laced with sarcasim, the Nobody shifted her stance and reached down, jerking him up by what was left of his shirt. He got to his feet and was actually surprised to see how much taller he was compared to her. Actually, he was more surprised at how strong she was for a little thing. "Get on your feet. When I kick your ass, I want you standing, not on the ground like a little bitch."
"Kick my ass huh?" He said with a slight smirk. In an instance, the keyblade had returned to his hand and he swung it at the Nobody, the wind swirling around them as he did so. The Nobody pushed off him, dodging the blow with ease, as if she had been waiting for it. She jumped back a few feet, the wind from the keyblade knocking her hood off.
"You're actually kind of cute for something with no heart." Karsen said with a smirk after getting a good look at her.
"Save it." She frowned, narrowing her eyes at him. A few more of the golden pieces appeared in the air around her, though, the wind from the keyblade made them shift every so slightly in the air.
"S'alright, I wasn't going to say more. You're not my type anyway." He watched as her ears twitched faintly. He lowered his keyblade by his side. He hadn't actually seen a Nobody before. He always thought they were like Heartless. But actually... They pretty much looked like Somebodies... Only, they had a slight air of darkness around them.
"Lucky me." She snorted. "At least I don't have to worry about you trying to fuck me." She ran her hand through her hair, watching the blonde in front of her, who was now wearing a surprised look.
"Why would I do that...?" He asked and his Keyblade vanished from his hand. This time she wore the surprised, yet confused expression. Her coins glowing brighter around her.
"Kind of what happens when I have a run in with strange me-Wait a fuckin' second." She growled. "Why the hell am I talking to you? Bring your Keyblade back." She said, making hand motions at him as if she were holding a Keyblade herself. He shook his head.
"Nah. I don't want to fight you. I kind of didn't want to to begin with but... It seemed that I had to. You know, the whole... Keyblader versus Nobody thing."
"I'm not buying your bullshit." Byx said flatly.
"I don't care if you do or not... You don't seem to be a threat.... And by that, I mean trying to steal hearts and kill Sombodies." He pointed to his cut and bleeding face. "Your power proves you to be a big threat and I'd appreciate having all my limbs." He blinked, wondering why she was looking at him as if he had lost his mind. "What?"
"I haven't figured it out yet." She frowned. "Some Keyblader you are. You attack me first, then when I get you on the ground, you decide you don't want to fight anymore. Are you afraid of me?"
"I could lie and say no, but... I'm a little afraid of you. I know you can kill me... But, that's not why I put my blade down." He smiled at her, catching her off guard. "You don't seem to want to fight either. I mean, after all, you're just standing there."
"This is true. I didn't come here to fight." She stated matter of factly. "I came here to retrieve someth-Fuck. I'm talking to you again." She frowned once more, the coins around her vanishing in a purple flash. Karsen grinned at her.
"I have that effect on people... And apparently Nobodies."
She rolled her eyes and in a flash second, she was standing in front of him, having warped her way there. A large glowing dagger was held to his throat while the cute little face was grinning up at him.
"Don't think that makes you special blondie. I'll let you live this time, but...." She ran the hot steel over his skin. "Next time you jump me, then decide that you don't want to fight.... Be prepared to fight for your life." A large, black swirling mass opened up behind her. His eyes opened wide as he watched. "Oh and...." She moved the dagger away from his neck, grabbing a tight hold on his messy ponytail and jerking him down into a kiss. She jerked him back quickly, grinning. "Something to remember me by. Hopefully your boyfriend won't mind." Pleased with the lost, confused look on his face, she backed into the portal, vanishing into the darkness.
Karsen stood there, confused indeed and holding his side in pain. The kiss was a cover for the open wound now in his side. He looked down at the gash she cut up his side before pressing his ragged shirt against it.
"How the hell did she know I have a boyfriend.....?"
He had taken a faceful of gold and he could feel his face stinging and seering from where the hot pieces of gold had cut and imbedded into his skin. His arms and chest felt the same way, damn she'd gotten him good. He coughed and pushed himself up on his knees, his keyblade, the Ocean's Squall had been knocked out of his reach.
"Tsk. For a keyblader, you have suck ass reflexes." The female voice came from under the hood. Hazel eyes glared back at the dark figure, only to widen in surprise and pain when he felt the hard toe of her boot connect with his ribs, knocking him back over.
"Don't look at me like that." She snapped, her exposed hands glowing a faint violet color.... A few of her golden, what looked like coins, floating in the air around her, also holding that glowing color. "You're the one that came at me first. I was minding my own business."
"Yeah well...." The blonde under her foot grunted in pain as he tried to sit up again. "You're the Nobody."
"And that automatically makes me the bad guy, does it?" She asked with a laugh, throwing her glowing hands on her hips. "Fuck you Keyblader."
"Yeah yeah..... Heartless bitch."
"Oh yeah, that struck a nerve." Laced with sarcasim, the Nobody shifted her stance and reached down, jerking him up by what was left of his shirt. He got to his feet and was actually surprised to see how much taller he was compared to her. Actually, he was more surprised at how strong she was for a little thing. "Get on your feet. When I kick your ass, I want you standing, not on the ground like a little bitch."
"Kick my ass huh?" He said with a slight smirk. In an instance, the keyblade had returned to his hand and he swung it at the Nobody, the wind swirling around them as he did so. The Nobody pushed off him, dodging the blow with ease, as if she had been waiting for it. She jumped back a few feet, the wind from the keyblade knocking her hood off.
"You're actually kind of cute for something with no heart." Karsen said with a smirk after getting a good look at her.
"Save it." She frowned, narrowing her eyes at him. A few more of the golden pieces appeared in the air around her, though, the wind from the keyblade made them shift every so slightly in the air.
"S'alright, I wasn't going to say more. You're not my type anyway." He watched as her ears twitched faintly. He lowered his keyblade by his side. He hadn't actually seen a Nobody before. He always thought they were like Heartless. But actually... They pretty much looked like Somebodies... Only, they had a slight air of darkness around them.
"Lucky me." She snorted. "At least I don't have to worry about you trying to fuck me." She ran her hand through her hair, watching the blonde in front of her, who was now wearing a surprised look.
"Why would I do that...?" He asked and his Keyblade vanished from his hand. This time she wore the surprised, yet confused expression. Her coins glowing brighter around her.
"Kind of what happens when I have a run in with strange me-Wait a fuckin' second." She growled. "Why the hell am I talking to you? Bring your Keyblade back." She said, making hand motions at him as if she were holding a Keyblade herself. He shook his head.
"Nah. I don't want to fight you. I kind of didn't want to to begin with but... It seemed that I had to. You know, the whole... Keyblader versus Nobody thing."
"I'm not buying your bullshit." Byx said flatly.
"I don't care if you do or not... You don't seem to be a threat.... And by that, I mean trying to steal hearts and kill Sombodies." He pointed to his cut and bleeding face. "Your power proves you to be a big threat and I'd appreciate having all my limbs." He blinked, wondering why she was looking at him as if he had lost his mind. "What?"
"I haven't figured it out yet." She frowned. "Some Keyblader you are. You attack me first, then when I get you on the ground, you decide you don't want to fight anymore. Are you afraid of me?"
"I could lie and say no, but... I'm a little afraid of you. I know you can kill me... But, that's not why I put my blade down." He smiled at her, catching her off guard. "You don't seem to want to fight either. I mean, after all, you're just standing there."
"This is true. I didn't come here to fight." She stated matter of factly. "I came here to retrieve someth-Fuck. I'm talking to you again." She frowned once more, the coins around her vanishing in a purple flash. Karsen grinned at her.
"I have that effect on people... And apparently Nobodies."
She rolled her eyes and in a flash second, she was standing in front of him, having warped her way there. A large glowing dagger was held to his throat while the cute little face was grinning up at him.
"Don't think that makes you special blondie. I'll let you live this time, but...." She ran the hot steel over his skin. "Next time you jump me, then decide that you don't want to fight.... Be prepared to fight for your life." A large, black swirling mass opened up behind her. His eyes opened wide as he watched. "Oh and...." She moved the dagger away from his neck, grabbing a tight hold on his messy ponytail and jerking him down into a kiss. She jerked him back quickly, grinning. "Something to remember me by. Hopefully your boyfriend won't mind." Pleased with the lost, confused look on his face, she backed into the portal, vanishing into the darkness.
Karsen stood there, confused indeed and holding his side in pain. The kiss was a cover for the open wound now in his side. He looked down at the gash she cut up his side before pressing his ragged shirt against it.
"How the hell did she know I have a boyfriend.....?"
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
(no subject)
Mar. 5th, 2009 | 02:07 am
mood: 
pessimistic
She told him. The words she never wanted to say left her lips...
You're my one and only. My soul mate, or something like that silly fairytale crap.
How stupid could she be? Now she didn't have a leg to stand on... He could fully control her emotions and make her jump the way he wanted. Though, he could do that long before she admitted it to herself. Hell, he had her wrapped before she and Chix were even through and she didn't even realize it.
It's not fair...... How can he have so much control over me? Everything he says and does.....
She growled at the thought. Great... She'd left herself open for so much more then she had wanted. Petty jealousy being one of them.
"You knew how he was before you got with him Byx."
"Yeah I know that. I tell myself that all the damn time."
"Then why's it bothering you?"
"Because.... He says he loves me more then anything."
"And...?"
"It's not bothering me that he fucks other people... What bothers me is that.. He loves them too... And.. I have to share that."
It was painful to admit, but true. Maybe I should have let Chixara do that... Just.. Fuck everyone else as she wanted. At least she would have loved me. Fuck... It's amazing what living in a place like this for so long could do to your mind.
"I don't understand it..."
"What?"
"Nor says he loves me.... Quite a lot actually. It's kind of flattering and scary at the same time."
"Why not drop Kemix and hook up with Nor then?"
"I love Kemix more then I love Nor. I can't just drop Kemix. I need him too much... And the thought of him not being in my life anymore just.. It upsets me more then you'd believe. The thought is flattering though... Someone wants to be with me and just me... But... I can't have Kemix out of my life. It wouldn't be worth living...."
"Who says he wouldn't be?"
"I know Kemix... It'd be stupid of me to think that I can just try to be friends with him while I'm with someone else...."
"Sounds like he's a selfish prick."
"He is... And... I love him."
It scares me witless that I could actually love someone this much to the point of where it becomes painful. When does it not hurt anymore...? When will I be strong enough not to let it hurt me and just accept it all? I hope soon.... I don't think I can take this pain too much longer.
"It's alright.. Apparently Ximon wants to be a part of my life like that too."
"I'm amazed you can bitch and complain when you have people that love you like this."
"I have a right. Ximon is tired of seeing me upset and hurting... I think."
"Anyone would be tired of seeing you hurt. It's not pretty. At all."
"Yeah well... I wish they'd stop it and leave me the fuck alone. If they want to sleep with me, fine. Apparently I'm beautiful and sexy and everything else, I get that. They like what they see. Fine, fuck me, I don't care. I just wish they'd leave me alone emotionally. I'm not strong enough to be in these types of situations."
"....."
"I hurt someone no matter which way I go. And.... I'd rather not hurt any of them at all. Of all the people here, they're the ones that haven't done me any wrong or harm and... I do love them. Differently and in a special way, but... It's still love. I don't want to have to choose."
"Someone's going to get hurt reguardless if you keep this up... You'd better just watch out for yourself."
"I don't care about myself... I'm afraid of losing someone close to me."
"Haven't some of them already left?"
"Yeah, but not permanently... That's what scares me."
You'd think that I'd have it made... Three guys that love me. Not as easy or pleasant as it sounds, trust me. Each offering something that the other can't... Each having flaws that you don't like or want to deal with, but... You still love them reguardless. Each just wanting you happy and to love you.
Fuck.
In the end, it's really only about their happiness.
And in that end... I think that's all I care about too. Making them happy.
Even if I just want to make one of them happy... Just one... I'll have to live with the fact that I'm just not enough. And try to make who I can happy.
I just hope I'm strong enough to survive it.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
He came in, like he generally did after being gone for a few days longer then normal. Ears down, sad look on his face, as if I'd be upset about tt. It made me wonder if he honestly knew how happy I was to see him...
My chest would swell, my words would catch in my throat thanks to the tears that wanted to show. I had to learn how to calm myself down... Not let him realize how much just his presence affected me.
It was so hard not living under the same roof anymore... But it made the time we spent together so much more precious and meaningful. Those days ment everything to me. Even though I knew when he went back to the rouges, he was just going to love and fuck someone else. Thinks about me all the time? It's a sweet thought, but I know better.
"Byx, I'm sorry." He'd start to say, but I wouldn't give him the chance. Jumping into his arms, I kissed him, hard and deep. He needed to feel how much I missed him.. How much I loved him.. How much I need him.
I drug him back towards the bed and without a word, I began losing clothes. Of course, he followed suit, his hands caressing my body, touching me. His hands leaving fire in their wake. My body reacted so quickly to him, I probably could have stood there and came just by his sweet, gentle caresses. I wouldn't ever have time. He'd get to the point where we both couldn't stand it and we'd have to fall on the bed. Lust, love, misery, pain driving us to do what we did best.. To what I did best. Showing him how much I need him.
I showed him. With my sounds, my hands, my mouth... My body... My non-existant heart.
It would always end the same. Our bodies hot, and slick with sweat. Mine shaking under his as my body still rocked from the explosion that had taken place inside. His, mine, coming together at the same time... It was magically and blissful and oh so sensual. I could stay in this moment for eternity, clung to him so weak and helpless, but so full of every good feeling I've ever known.
We'd laugh softly and kiss... Barely able to touch each other and out of breath.
He'd eventually move to lay down next to me and cuddle me.. Kissing my skin softly as he did so. Each kiss sending chills down my spine, making me want to jump out of my skin.
He'd fall asleep.... Holding me. I could barely keep my eyes open, but... I didn't want to lose this moment. He looked like such an angel when he slept, I want to eat him up. Looking up at him through tired eyes, he'd never looked so beautiful. Sometimes it's hard to believe this is the man I'd give everything for. Maybe not believe, but understand. That was a better way to phrase it.
Reaching up, I brushed his bangs out of his face. My fingertips tingling as I did so. He mumbled under his breath and pulled me closer. I smiled, my fingertips running over her cheeks gently. I was going to be upset once he had to leave... Probably cry a little once he was gone. Of course it's selfish to want to keep him here with me for forever, but hey. I'm his 'soulmate'... I think I'm allowed to at least have my selfish thoughts. I'm entilted.
His eyes cracked opened and I grinned at him, brushing my fingers over his lips gently. His lips curled into a smile before he kissed my fingers. I could feel my cheeks flushing a bit at that simple gesture. I took my fingers back and moved up, placing a soft kiss on his lips, letting myself rest there. He chuckled softly, arms wrapped strongly around me to keep me held there.
"I love you..." I mumbled softly against his lips.
"I love you too...." He grinned, then took my mouth with his, giving me a kiss to make my toes curl and my nipples harden. Damn him, I laughed mentally. If he knew the power he had over me....He'd be dangerous.
"No...." I started breathlessly, grinning at him. Yep. I could eat him up. "Really... I love you Kemix."
The smile he gave me after that.. I felt something inside me freeze and all I could do was watch him. Lost in that smile and his gorgeous eyes.
"I know Byx." He purred softly, pressing his lips gently against mine. "I know. I love you too." His lips moved from mine, tracing up my jawline and to my ear. I closed my eyes, his voice soft, sweet... The voice that had never lied to me. "You're my everything."
I smiled, biting my lip as I tighted my hold on him. He was stretching the truth again, but... He wasn't lying. He couldn't... Not to me....
Everything's going to be alright.
You're my one and only. My soul mate, or something like that silly fairytale crap.
How stupid could she be? Now she didn't have a leg to stand on... He could fully control her emotions and make her jump the way he wanted. Though, he could do that long before she admitted it to herself. Hell, he had her wrapped before she and Chix were even through and she didn't even realize it.
It's not fair...... How can he have so much control over me? Everything he says and does.....
She growled at the thought. Great... She'd left herself open for so much more then she had wanted. Petty jealousy being one of them.
"You knew how he was before you got with him Byx."
"Yeah I know that. I tell myself that all the damn time."
"Then why's it bothering you?"
"Because.... He says he loves me more then anything."
"And...?"
"It's not bothering me that he fucks other people... What bothers me is that.. He loves them too... And.. I have to share that."
It was painful to admit, but true. Maybe I should have let Chixara do that... Just.. Fuck everyone else as she wanted. At least she would have loved me. Fuck... It's amazing what living in a place like this for so long could do to your mind.
"I don't understand it..."
"What?"
"Nor says he loves me.... Quite a lot actually. It's kind of flattering and scary at the same time."
"Why not drop Kemix and hook up with Nor then?"
"I love Kemix more then I love Nor. I can't just drop Kemix. I need him too much... And the thought of him not being in my life anymore just.. It upsets me more then you'd believe. The thought is flattering though... Someone wants to be with me and just me... But... I can't have Kemix out of my life. It wouldn't be worth living...."
"Who says he wouldn't be?"
"I know Kemix... It'd be stupid of me to think that I can just try to be friends with him while I'm with someone else...."
"Sounds like he's a selfish prick."
"He is... And... I love him."
It scares me witless that I could actually love someone this much to the point of where it becomes painful. When does it not hurt anymore...? When will I be strong enough not to let it hurt me and just accept it all? I hope soon.... I don't think I can take this pain too much longer.
"It's alright.. Apparently Ximon wants to be a part of my life like that too."
"I'm amazed you can bitch and complain when you have people that love you like this."
"I have a right. Ximon is tired of seeing me upset and hurting... I think."
"Anyone would be tired of seeing you hurt. It's not pretty. At all."
"Yeah well... I wish they'd stop it and leave me the fuck alone. If they want to sleep with me, fine. Apparently I'm beautiful and sexy and everything else, I get that. They like what they see. Fine, fuck me, I don't care. I just wish they'd leave me alone emotionally. I'm not strong enough to be in these types of situations."
"....."
"I hurt someone no matter which way I go. And.... I'd rather not hurt any of them at all. Of all the people here, they're the ones that haven't done me any wrong or harm and... I do love them. Differently and in a special way, but... It's still love. I don't want to have to choose."
"Someone's going to get hurt reguardless if you keep this up... You'd better just watch out for yourself."
"I don't care about myself... I'm afraid of losing someone close to me."
"Haven't some of them already left?"
"Yeah, but not permanently... That's what scares me."
You'd think that I'd have it made... Three guys that love me. Not as easy or pleasant as it sounds, trust me. Each offering something that the other can't... Each having flaws that you don't like or want to deal with, but... You still love them reguardless. Each just wanting you happy and to love you.
Fuck.
In the end, it's really only about their happiness.
And in that end... I think that's all I care about too. Making them happy.
Even if I just want to make one of them happy... Just one... I'll have to live with the fact that I'm just not enough. And try to make who I can happy.
I just hope I'm strong enough to survive it.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
He came in, like he generally did after being gone for a few days longer then normal. Ears down, sad look on his face, as if I'd be upset about tt. It made me wonder if he honestly knew how happy I was to see him...
My chest would swell, my words would catch in my throat thanks to the tears that wanted to show. I had to learn how to calm myself down... Not let him realize how much just his presence affected me.
It was so hard not living under the same roof anymore... But it made the time we spent together so much more precious and meaningful. Those days ment everything to me. Even though I knew when he went back to the rouges, he was just going to love and fuck someone else. Thinks about me all the time? It's a sweet thought, but I know better.
"Byx, I'm sorry." He'd start to say, but I wouldn't give him the chance. Jumping into his arms, I kissed him, hard and deep. He needed to feel how much I missed him.. How much I loved him.. How much I need him.
I drug him back towards the bed and without a word, I began losing clothes. Of course, he followed suit, his hands caressing my body, touching me. His hands leaving fire in their wake. My body reacted so quickly to him, I probably could have stood there and came just by his sweet, gentle caresses. I wouldn't ever have time. He'd get to the point where we both couldn't stand it and we'd have to fall on the bed. Lust, love, misery, pain driving us to do what we did best.. To what I did best. Showing him how much I need him.
I showed him. With my sounds, my hands, my mouth... My body... My non-existant heart.
It would always end the same. Our bodies hot, and slick with sweat. Mine shaking under his as my body still rocked from the explosion that had taken place inside. His, mine, coming together at the same time... It was magically and blissful and oh so sensual. I could stay in this moment for eternity, clung to him so weak and helpless, but so full of every good feeling I've ever known.
We'd laugh softly and kiss... Barely able to touch each other and out of breath.
He'd eventually move to lay down next to me and cuddle me.. Kissing my skin softly as he did so. Each kiss sending chills down my spine, making me want to jump out of my skin.
He'd fall asleep.... Holding me. I could barely keep my eyes open, but... I didn't want to lose this moment. He looked like such an angel when he slept, I want to eat him up. Looking up at him through tired eyes, he'd never looked so beautiful. Sometimes it's hard to believe this is the man I'd give everything for. Maybe not believe, but understand. That was a better way to phrase it.
Reaching up, I brushed his bangs out of his face. My fingertips tingling as I did so. He mumbled under his breath and pulled me closer. I smiled, my fingertips running over her cheeks gently. I was going to be upset once he had to leave... Probably cry a little once he was gone. Of course it's selfish to want to keep him here with me for forever, but hey. I'm his 'soulmate'... I think I'm allowed to at least have my selfish thoughts. I'm entilted.
His eyes cracked opened and I grinned at him, brushing my fingers over his lips gently. His lips curled into a smile before he kissed my fingers. I could feel my cheeks flushing a bit at that simple gesture. I took my fingers back and moved up, placing a soft kiss on his lips, letting myself rest there. He chuckled softly, arms wrapped strongly around me to keep me held there.
"I love you..." I mumbled softly against his lips.
"I love you too...." He grinned, then took my mouth with his, giving me a kiss to make my toes curl and my nipples harden. Damn him, I laughed mentally. If he knew the power he had over me....He'd be dangerous.
"No...." I started breathlessly, grinning at him. Yep. I could eat him up. "Really... I love you Kemix."
The smile he gave me after that.. I felt something inside me freeze and all I could do was watch him. Lost in that smile and his gorgeous eyes.
"I know Byx." He purred softly, pressing his lips gently against mine. "I know. I love you too." His lips moved from mine, tracing up my jawline and to my ear. I closed my eyes, his voice soft, sweet... The voice that had never lied to me. "You're my everything."
I smiled, biting my lip as I tighted my hold on him. He was stretching the truth again, but... He wasn't lying. He couldn't... Not to me....
Everything's going to be alright.
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Xivks 98 Question Meme
Mar. 4th, 2009 | 11:21 pm
Because Holly requested it ♥
1) Full Name:
Xivks
2) Male/Female:
Male.
3) Were you named after anyone?:
Ah. No.... |D WELL, kinda. After my female half, only with an X thrown in and it mixed up.... Kinda like it is with ALL Nobodies for some odd reason.
4) Does your name mean anything?:
It means I lost my heart |D;
5) Nick Name(s):
-thinking face- No, not that I can think of.
6) Who do you think you look like:
-shrugs- Generic blondes?
7) Date Of Birth:
Uuuugh....... Don't think I techincally have one in this form.
8) Place of Birth and Current Location:
My place of "birth" -air quotations- Was in Radiant Gardens.
9) Nationality:
...... Ur, my Somebody was ugh.... American?
10) Astrology Sign:
Piiiiiiiiiisces, or at least that's what my Somebody's was |D;
11) Chinese Astrology Sign:
-shrug-
12) Religion:
Pft.
13) What's your favorite smell?:
Tea and mint... |D~
14) Political Position?:
Politics are gay :/ More so then Castle Infinity.
15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?:
Lemon tea.
16) Hair + Eye color:
Darkish blonde and orange C:
17) Do you look like anyone famous?:
Nah.. At least, I don't think so.
18) What do you look like?:
A person? |D;;
19) Any unusual talents?:
I HAS BLACK FIRE...... |D
20) Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous?:
Righty~
21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other?:
Straight..... D| Straight all the way.
22) What do you do for a living?:
Um..... Nothing. I kind of bum off Lylhox... |D; BUT, I do make and use my own munny. I'm not completely useless.
23) What do you do for fun?:
Kill heartless.... Bother Lylhox..... Sleep......
24) What are your favorite art materials to work with?:
Fingerpaints are actually fun to play with... XD;;
25) What kind of materials would you like to work with?:
..... Ediable body paint?
26) Have you met your grandparents?:
Er.... No.
27) Boyfriend/Girlfriend:
Lylhox is my girlfriend, my sweetheart, my Lylbuns.... <3
28) Crush:
Pft, no =w=
29) What celebrity would you date if you could?:
Bleh, do not want >/
30) Current worries?:
Worry free~ At least at the moment.
31) Favorite online Guy/Girl(s):
.................. ??
32) Favorite place to be?:
The flower gardens... With Lylhox of course ♥
33) Least favorite place to be?:
That damn castle actually.
34) Do you burn or tan?:
I tan |D I just need to get out more.
35) Ever break a bone?:
Quite a few actually.
36) What is your favorite cereal?:
Fruit loops~
37) Person you cry with:
D| I don't cry.
38) Any sisters:
No.
39) Any brothers:
Noo.
40) Any pets:
Citrine. I found her and brought her home to Lylhox. She's a kitten.
41) An Illness:
Fit as a fiddle mostly.
42) A Pager:
... Dude. So out of style D:
43) A Personal phone line:
No.
44) A Cell phone:
Ur.... Nope.
45) A visible birthmark:
-touches mole under left eye- |D
46) A Pool or hot tub:
...... |3 Hot tubs are fun.
47) A Car:
I don't have one, don't need it.
48) Personality:
Fun, loving, friendly....? |D;
49) Driving:
I miss it sometimes.
50) Your clothing style:
T-shirt or tank top.... Jeans and.... Shoes |D;;
51) Room:
Lylhox's room c:
52) What's missing:
My non-existance might as well be complete~
53) School:
...... Actually, my Somebody had some college under her belt.
54) Bed:
Curled to Lylhox c|
55) Relationship with your parent(s):
........ No paaaaarents =w=;
56) Do you believe in yourself:
When it counts?
57) Do you believe in love at first sight?:
Yes, I do actually. I've expirenced it.
58) Consider yourself a good listener:
Yes, very =w=
59) Have a future dream that you would like to share?:
I'm kind of living my dream right now... |D
60) Get along with your parents:
......... If I had any.. Maybe?
61) Save your e-mail conversations:
No.
62) Pray:
..... Nu, not really.
63) Believe in reincarnation:
Voila~ I am somewhat of an example.
64) Brush your teeth twice a day?:
Definetly.
65) Like to talk on the phone:
Need one to talk on one >>
66) Like to eat?:
A lot |D
67) Like to exercise?:
Yeah actually. When I'm not with Lylhox, that's generally what I'm doing. I can't get lazy =w=
68) Like to watch sports?:
No.
69) Sing in the car?:
I have no car to sing in D| Sheesh.
70) What is a dream that you have all the time?:
.......... |D~ He he he.
71) Dream in color:
All the time D:
72) Do you have nightmares?:
No >/ At least... Not anymore.
73) Sleep with a stuffed animal?:
No. Just Lylhox.. And sometimes Citrine's on the end of the bed.... Or my head.
74) Right next to you:
URM... Citrine actually -scratches her head- |D; Don't tell Lylhox I took her from the room with me.
75) On your favorite coffee cup?:
-looks at it- It's plain white >: And for tea.
76) On your mouse pad:
-looks at it also- IT'S....... Blackfirebwahahhaha =w=
77) Your favorite flavor of gum?:
Spearamint~
78) Your brand of deodorant?:
I don't know what it is. Something that smells manly.
79) Your dream honeymoon spot:
Anywhere as long as my other half is there.
80) Your dream husband/wife:
Lylhox is it ♥
81) Hiding in your closet?:
It's Lyl's closet and it's just clothes... Or, are you talking about skeletons? >>;
82) Under your bed:
Citrine's toys.
83) The name of one of your closest/best friends:
Bx... If I don't count Lylhox... And that's kind of sad.
84) Your bad time of the day:
Afternoon =w= It gets lonely and boring.
85) Your worst fear(s):
Honestly.... Not being able to save the person that means the most to me.
86) What's the weather like?:
It's always dark and dreary |:<
87) Your favorite time of year?:
Spring, when everything's in bloom <3
88) Your favorite holiday?:
Christmas actually <3
89) A material weakness?:
............ -thinkingfase-
90) The weirdest food or drink that you like:
Tuna sandwiches with goldfish crackers |D OR OR! Or ramen noodles with sour cream and parmasen cheese.
91) At the top of your "to-do list"?:
-inserts pervy dialouge here-
92) The hardest thing about growing up:
I don't... Really remember.
93) A pet peeve?:
I can't think of one at the moment >>;
94) Your scariest moment:
...... Rather not discuss it.
95) Your attitude about love?:
It's grand when you find it and keep it.
96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex?:
....... I let her beat me senseless with crystals? |D
97) The worst feeling in the world:
Feeling like you've failed the ones you care most about.
98) The best feeling in the world:
Knowing that your life is complete now that you've found the one to complete it ♥
1) Full Name:
Xivks
2) Male/Female:
Male.
3) Were you named after anyone?:
Ah. No.... |D WELL, kinda. After my female half, only with an X thrown in and it mixed up.... Kinda like it is with ALL Nobodies for some odd reason.
4) Does your name mean anything?:
It means I lost my heart |D;
5) Nick Name(s):
-thinking face- No, not that I can think of.
6) Who do you think you look like:
-shrugs- Generic blondes?
7) Date Of Birth:
Uuuugh....... Don't think I techincally have one in this form.
8) Place of Birth and Current Location:
My place of "birth" -air quotations- Was in Radiant Gardens.
9) Nationality:
...... Ur, my Somebody was ugh.... American?
10) Astrology Sign:
Piiiiiiiiiisces, or at least that's what my Somebody's was |D;
11) Chinese Astrology Sign:
-shrug-
12) Religion:
Pft.
13) What's your favorite smell?:
Tea and mint... |D~
14) Political Position?:
Politics are gay :/ More so then Castle Infinity.
15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?:
Lemon tea.
16) Hair + Eye color:
Darkish blonde and orange C:
17) Do you look like anyone famous?:
Nah.. At least, I don't think so.
18) What do you look like?:
A person? |D;;
19) Any unusual talents?:
I HAS BLACK FIRE...... |D
20) Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous?:
Righty~
21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other?:
Straight..... D| Straight all the way.
22) What do you do for a living?:
Um..... Nothing. I kind of bum off Lylhox... |D; BUT, I do make and use my own munny. I'm not completely useless.
23) What do you do for fun?:
Kill heartless.... Bother Lylhox..... Sleep......
24) What are your favorite art materials to work with?:
Fingerpaints are actually fun to play with... XD;;
25) What kind of materials would you like to work with?:
..... Ediable body paint?
26) Have you met your grandparents?:
Er.... No.
27) Boyfriend/Girlfriend:
Lylhox is my girlfriend, my sweetheart, my Lylbuns.... <3
28) Crush:
Pft, no =w=
29) What celebrity would you date if you could?:
Bleh, do not want >/
30) Current worries?:
Worry free~ At least at the moment.
31) Favorite online Guy/Girl(s):
.................. ??
32) Favorite place to be?:
The flower gardens... With Lylhox of course ♥
33) Least favorite place to be?:
That damn castle actually.
34) Do you burn or tan?:
I tan |D I just need to get out more.
35) Ever break a bone?:
Quite a few actually.
36) What is your favorite cereal?:
Fruit loops~
37) Person you cry with:
D| I don't cry.
38) Any sisters:
No.
39) Any brothers:
Noo.
40) Any pets:
Citrine. I found her and brought her home to Lylhox. She's a kitten.
41) An Illness:
Fit as a fiddle mostly.
42) A Pager:
... Dude. So out of style D:
43) A Personal phone line:
No.
44) A Cell phone:
Ur.... Nope.
45) A visible birthmark:
-touches mole under left eye- |D
46) A Pool or hot tub:
...... |3 Hot tubs are fun.
47) A Car:
I don't have one, don't need it.
48) Personality:
Fun, loving, friendly....? |D;
49) Driving:
I miss it sometimes.
50) Your clothing style:
T-shirt or tank top.... Jeans and.... Shoes |D;;
51) Room:
Lylhox's room c:
52) What's missing:
My non-existance might as well be complete~
53) School:
...... Actually, my Somebody had some college under her belt.
54) Bed:
Curled to Lylhox c|
55) Relationship with your parent(s):
........ No paaaaarents =w=;
56) Do you believe in yourself:
When it counts?
57) Do you believe in love at first sight?:
Yes, I do actually. I've expirenced it.
58) Consider yourself a good listener:
Yes, very =w=
59) Have a future dream that you would like to share?:
I'm kind of living my dream right now... |D
60) Get along with your parents:
......... If I had any.. Maybe?
61) Save your e-mail conversations:
No.
62) Pray:
..... Nu, not really.
63) Believe in reincarnation:
Voila~ I am somewhat of an example.
64) Brush your teeth twice a day?:
Definetly.
65) Like to talk on the phone:
Need one to talk on one >>
66) Like to eat?:
A lot |D
67) Like to exercise?:
Yeah actually. When I'm not with Lylhox, that's generally what I'm doing. I can't get lazy =w=
68) Like to watch sports?:
No.
69) Sing in the car?:
I have no car to sing in D| Sheesh.
70) What is a dream that you have all the time?:
.......... |D~ He he he.
71) Dream in color:
All the time D:
72) Do you have nightmares?:
No >/ At least... Not anymore.
73) Sleep with a stuffed animal?:
No. Just Lylhox.. And sometimes Citrine's on the end of the bed.... Or my head.
74) Right next to you:
URM... Citrine actually -scratches her head- |D; Don't tell Lylhox I took her from the room with me.
75) On your favorite coffee cup?:
-looks at it- It's plain white >: And for tea.
76) On your mouse pad:
-looks at it also- IT'S....... Blackfirebwahahhaha =w=
77) Your favorite flavor of gum?:
Spearamint~
78) Your brand of deodorant?:
I don't know what it is. Something that smells manly.
79) Your dream honeymoon spot:
Anywhere as long as my other half is there.
80) Your dream husband/wife:
Lylhox is it ♥
81) Hiding in your closet?:
It's Lyl's closet and it's just clothes... Or, are you talking about skeletons? >>;
82) Under your bed:
Citrine's toys.
83) The name of one of your closest/best friends:
Bx... If I don't count Lylhox... And that's kind of sad.
84) Your bad time of the day:
Afternoon =w= It gets lonely and boring.
85) Your worst fear(s):
Honestly.... Not being able to save the person that means the most to me.
86) What's the weather like?:
It's always dark and dreary |:<
87) Your favorite time of year?:
Spring, when everything's in bloom <3
88) Your favorite holiday?:
Christmas actually <3
89) A material weakness?:
............ -thinkingfase-
90) The weirdest food or drink that you like:
Tuna sandwiches with goldfish crackers |D OR OR! Or ramen noodles with sour cream and parmasen cheese.
91) At the top of your "to-do list"?:
-inserts pervy dialouge here-
92) The hardest thing about growing up:
I don't... Really remember.
93) A pet peeve?:
I can't think of one at the moment >>;
94) Your scariest moment:
...... Rather not discuss it.
95) Your attitude about love?:
It's grand when you find it and keep it.
96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex?:
....... I let her beat me senseless with crystals? |D
97) The worst feeling in the world:
Feeling like you've failed the ones you care most about.
98) The best feeling in the world:
Knowing that your life is complete now that you've found the one to complete it ♥
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Raven 98 Question Meme
Mar. 1st, 2009 | 09:16 pm
mood: 
bored
1) Full Name:
Raven Dylan Hartstrung
2) Male/Female:
Male.
3) Were you named after anyone?:
I think I my grandfather -shrugs- Not sure.
4) Does your name mean anything?:
No.
5) Nick Name(s):
........ None really.
6) Who do you think you look like:
My gorgeous mother <3
7) Date Of Birth:
April 11th, 1984
8) Place of Birth and Current Location:
Radiant Gardens (before it was Radiant Gardens) and.... Radiant Gardens.
9) Nationality:
Irish Italian.
10) Astrology Sign:
Aries.
11) Chinese Astrology Sign:
Wood rat.
12) Religion:
Not one really.
13) What's your favorite smell?:
Bread baking.
14) Political Position?:
None.
15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?:
Orange juice.
16) Hair + Eye color:
Black with a natural white streak, and light green.
17) Do you look like anyone famous?:
Nope.
18) What do you look like?:
My mother.
19) Any unusual talents?:
I have a minimal ability to control smoke?
20) Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous?:
Left.
21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other?:
....... Hm. I'd like to say straight, but it's currently the opposite.
22) What do you do for a living?:
Help run my parent's bakery... When I'm not off fighting heartless.
23) What do you do for fun?:
Cook, clean... Ride my motocycle to the beach... Spend time with Royce, thinks of that nature.
24) What are your favorite art materials to work with?:
I don't really work with art materials.
25) What kind of materials would you like to work with?:
Eh... I guess maybe.... Chalk?
26) Have you met your grandparents?:
Died when I was little, so... Yes, but I hardly remember them.
27) Boyfriend/Girlfriend:
Royce.
28) Crush:
No.
29) What celebrity would you date if you could?:
...... None really.
30) Current worries?:
None really.. Other then when a certain "someone" goes off galavanting, I worry about them.
31) Favorite online Guy/Girl(s):
None..... =w=
32) Favorite place to be?:
At home... Curled up in bed to that someone special ♥
33) Least favorite place to be?:
On a mission somewhere killing things.... Unless they have interesting food.
34) Do you burn or tan?:
Slightly tan.
35) Ever break a bone?:
Several times.
36) What is your favorite cereal?:
Eh, don't have one.
37) Person you cry with:
.......
38) Any sisters:
Nope.
39) Any brothers:
Drayfus.
40) Any pets:
Too messy.
41) An Illness:
I've been told my O.C.D. is an illness.
42) A Pager:
Never.
43) A Personal phone line:
Nope.
44) A Cell phone:
-waves cell phone- Right here.
45) A visible birthmark:
None.
46) A Pool or hot tub:
... Heh, hot tub.
47) A Car:
Motorcycle.
48) Personality:
If you know me, you know my personality.
49) Driving:
Fast.
50) Your clothing style:
...... Simple, comfortable, stylish?
51) Room:
Spotless.
52) What's missing:
Nothing anymore.
53) School:
General education.. A few years of culinary school.
54) Bed:
Large enough for two ♥
55) Relationship with your parent(s):
Healthy.... Basically.
56) Do you believe in yourself:
From time to time.
57) Do you believe in love at first sight?:
Heh, not really. Lust maybe, but not love.
58) Consider yourself a good listener:
If the subject or speaker calls for it.
59) Have a future dream that you would like to share?:
Not with anyone here.
60) Get along with your parents:
My mother, yes very. Father, not so much, but it could be worse.
61) Save your e-mail conversations:
No.
62) Pray:
No.
63) Believe in reincarnation:
Eh... -waves a hand-
64) Brush your teeth twice a day?:
Thrice.
65) Like to talk on the phone:
Not really.
66) Like to eat?:
Sometimes.
67) Like to exercise?:
Another sometime.
68) Like to watch sports?:
No.
69) Sing in the car?:
.... No. At home, maybe.
70) What is a dream that you have all the time?:
Hm -grins- Nothing I'll share.
71) Dream in color:
Mostly.
72) Do you have nightmares?:
Rarely.... None lately.
73) Sleep with a stuffed animal?:
No |:
74) Right next to you:
Stuff.
75) On your favorite coffee cup?:
Strangely enough, I don't own coffee cups.
76) On your mouse pad:
Plain and black.
77) Your favorite flavor of gum?:
Wintergreen.
78) Your brand of deodorant?:
Um..... Axe, Tag....? Something along those lines.
79) Your dream honeymoon spot:
Italy... Rome... Paris... Somewhere along those lines -grins-
80) Your dream husband/wife:
I don't really have one..... I'm quite content with where I am now.
81) Hiding in your closet?:
Nothing. It's clean and straightened up..... Walk through too.
82) Under your bed:
Once again, nothing.
83) The name of one of your closest/best friends:
Sadly, I don't really have any.
84) Your bad time of the day:
Morning.
85) Your worst fear(s):
Losing someone else I love.
86) What's the weather like?:
Cold, dreary.
87) Your favorite time of year?:
Autumn.
88) Your favorite holiday?:
Thanksgiving.
89) A material weakness?:
...... People?
90) The weirdest food or drink that you like:
I'm not sure... I generally try any kind of food once... If it doesn't scare me right off.
91) At the top of your "to-do list"?:
Hmm... Clean, shopping... Dinner.... Royce ♥
92) The hardest thing about growing up:
Was just growing up and turning into adults.
93) A pet peeve?:
A messy house... And loud, obnoxious people.
94) Your scariest moment:
...... -shudders, shrugs it off-
95) Your attitude about love?:
Positive now that I have it again.
96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex?:
Bake 'em cookies and leave silly little love letters with them.
97) The worst feeling in the world:
Being alone.... Feeling that no one cares.
98) The best feeling in the world:
Waking up next to someone after so long and knowing that this person is your's and your's alone.
Raven Dylan Hartstrung
2) Male/Female:
Male.
3) Were you named after anyone?:
I think I my grandfather -shrugs- Not sure.
4) Does your name mean anything?:
No.
5) Nick Name(s):
........ None really.
6) Who do you think you look like:
My gorgeous mother <3
7) Date Of Birth:
April 11th, 1984
8) Place of Birth and Current Location:
Radiant Gardens (before it was Radiant Gardens) and.... Radiant Gardens.
9) Nationality:
Irish Italian.
10) Astrology Sign:
Aries.
11) Chinese Astrology Sign:
Wood rat.
12) Religion:
Not one really.
13) What's your favorite smell?:
Bread baking.
14) Political Position?:
None.
15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?:
Orange juice.
16) Hair + Eye color:
Black with a natural white streak, and light green.
17) Do you look like anyone famous?:
Nope.
18) What do you look like?:
My mother.
19) Any unusual talents?:
I have a minimal ability to control smoke?
20) Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous?:
Left.
21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other?:
....... Hm. I'd like to say straight, but it's currently the opposite.
22) What do you do for a living?:
Help run my parent's bakery... When I'm not off fighting heartless.
23) What do you do for fun?:
Cook, clean... Ride my motocycle to the beach... Spend time with Royce, thinks of that nature.
24) What are your favorite art materials to work with?:
I don't really work with art materials.
25) What kind of materials would you like to work with?:
Eh... I guess maybe.... Chalk?
26) Have you met your grandparents?:
Died when I was little, so... Yes, but I hardly remember them.
27) Boyfriend/Girlfriend:
Royce.
28) Crush:
No.
29) What celebrity would you date if you could?:
...... None really.
30) Current worries?:
None really.. Other then when a certain "someone" goes off galavanting, I worry about them.
31) Favorite online Guy/Girl(s):
None..... =w=
32) Favorite place to be?:
At home... Curled up in bed to that someone special ♥
33) Least favorite place to be?:
On a mission somewhere killing things.... Unless they have interesting food.
34) Do you burn or tan?:
Slightly tan.
35) Ever break a bone?:
Several times.
36) What is your favorite cereal?:
Eh, don't have one.
37) Person you cry with:
.......
38) Any sisters:
Nope.
39) Any brothers:
Drayfus.
40) Any pets:
Too messy.
41) An Illness:
I've been told my O.C.D. is an illness.
42) A Pager:
Never.
43) A Personal phone line:
Nope.
44) A Cell phone:
-waves cell phone- Right here.
45) A visible birthmark:
None.
46) A Pool or hot tub:
... Heh, hot tub.
47) A Car:
Motorcycle.
48) Personality:
If you know me, you know my personality.
49) Driving:
Fast.
50) Your clothing style:
...... Simple, comfortable, stylish?
51) Room:
Spotless.
52) What's missing:
Nothing anymore.
53) School:
General education.. A few years of culinary school.
54) Bed:
Large enough for two ♥
55) Relationship with your parent(s):
Healthy.... Basically.
56) Do you believe in yourself:
From time to time.
57) Do you believe in love at first sight?:
Heh, not really. Lust maybe, but not love.
58) Consider yourself a good listener:
If the subject or speaker calls for it.
59) Have a future dream that you would like to share?:
Not with anyone here.
60) Get along with your parents:
My mother, yes very. Father, not so much, but it could be worse.
61) Save your e-mail conversations:
No.
62) Pray:
No.
63) Believe in reincarnation:
Eh... -waves a hand-
64) Brush your teeth twice a day?:
Thrice.
65) Like to talk on the phone:
Not really.
66) Like to eat?:
Sometimes.
67) Like to exercise?:
Another sometime.
68) Like to watch sports?:
No.
69) Sing in the car?:
.... No. At home, maybe.
70) What is a dream that you have all the time?:
Hm -grins- Nothing I'll share.
71) Dream in color:
Mostly.
72) Do you have nightmares?:
Rarely.... None lately.
73) Sleep with a stuffed animal?:
No |:
74) Right next to you:
Stuff.
75) On your favorite coffee cup?:
Strangely enough, I don't own coffee cups.
76) On your mouse pad:
Plain and black.
77) Your favorite flavor of gum?:
Wintergreen.
78) Your brand of deodorant?:
Um..... Axe, Tag....? Something along those lines.
79) Your dream honeymoon spot:
Italy... Rome... Paris... Somewhere along those lines -grins-
80) Your dream husband/wife:
I don't really have one..... I'm quite content with where I am now.
81) Hiding in your closet?:
Nothing. It's clean and straightened up..... Walk through too.
82) Under your bed:
Once again, nothing.
83) The name of one of your closest/best friends:
Sadly, I don't really have any.
84) Your bad time of the day:
Morning.
85) Your worst fear(s):
Losing someone else I love.
86) What's the weather like?:
Cold, dreary.
87) Your favorite time of year?:
Autumn.
88) Your favorite holiday?:
Thanksgiving.
89) A material weakness?:
...... People?
90) The weirdest food or drink that you like:
I'm not sure... I generally try any kind of food once... If it doesn't scare me right off.
91) At the top of your "to-do list"?:
Hmm... Clean, shopping... Dinner.... Royce ♥
92) The hardest thing about growing up:
Was just growing up and turning into adults.
93) A pet peeve?:
A messy house... And loud, obnoxious people.
94) Your scariest moment:
...... -shudders, shrugs it off-
95) Your attitude about love?:
Positive now that I have it again.
96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex?:
Bake 'em cookies and leave silly little love letters with them.
97) The worst feeling in the world:
Being alone.... Feeling that no one cares.
98) The best feeling in the world:
Waking up next to someone after so long and knowing that this person is your's and your's alone.
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Byx Emo ( As Normal )
Dec. 28th, 2008 | 01:51 pm
It all felt so hollow and empty. It kind of reminded her of how she felt when she first came to this place, when she had nothing and wanted nothing from any of them. She just wanted to fulfill her purpose as a tool of the organization and live out her miserable life as such.
Things happened, other's became valuable... This life suddenly didn't feel so hollow and empty. It felt full of purpose.... Full of meaning. It might not all have been happy or joyous, but, it was full of meaning none the less.
Now here she was, standing in the abandoned room. It felt almost like being at the beginning again. His scent was still there. It was faint, but she could smell him. She could almost feel him. To think, she really didn't like him the first time they met. He was just another pretty face that thought he could get whatever he wanted with it. Though, she had to admit, she sort of fell in love with his gorgeous sapphire eyes... And he apparently could get whatever he wanted. At least she had called it right.
She hugged herself, while her dim, violet eyes scanned the cold room. Dark bags rested under her eyes. Even though she didn't sleep much on a daily basis, she was starting to not sleep at all. It wasn't just because of him... Other's were beginning to leave also. But... Everytime she closed her eyes, guess who it was there?
Lylhox wouldn't be happy about her not sleeping. It was hard to sleep though. When you'd lay in bed and do nothing but stare at the empty space above you. Your thoughts screaming so loud you couldn't sleep. She gave a deep sigh, looking around the room.
Her ears twitched slightly hearing a slight mew and she looked down.
Dinto.
Hadn't someone come by and taken the cat with them yet? Surely one of his...... Lover's should have collected the damn cat.
"Stupid excuses for non-existing...."
She frowned, not exactly being fond of the animal, but she knealt down to scratch the cat under it's chin. It looked like it needed some kind of attention. She knew the feeling all too well.
Poor Dinto.... Kemix might have left me behind, but I can at least fend for myself.
It was just the thought of that that made her want to cry. It was like a flash after the thought and the tears began to burn behind her eyes. She grimaced and jerked her hand back from the cat. She stood up quickly and began to rub her eyes with her hands.
Left me behind.
It seemed to echo in her now empty thoughts. She knew it was killing him to stay here.... She knew he was happier away from this place, away from everything he didn't like about it. He was better off with Chixara and everyone else who'd left this place. She even knew that there was nothing she could do to ease the suffering he was feeling.
It still didn't numb the pain she felt. It was stupid to feel like that, even though she knew and understood why it had to happen. I guess it just didn't make it hurt any less... It was probably the fact that there was nothing she could do to make him feel better, or to make him stay.
That's what she got for letting herself get in too deep with him. For loving him like she did. She knew it was just going to end up hurting her, but she never pictured it would have been like this. She could have shaken everything else off, but this...
Sad, but it would have been easier to hear "I don't love you." or "I've finally decided to settle with someone." "We're done, I want nothing to do with you." rather then to have nothing really and him just be gone. There was no definate finish or ending to anything. He was just.... Gone. He'd come back... But, most of the time, he was gone. No where she could reach him. She couldn't see him when she wanted, no way she could find him.... She couldn't take much more of this. She let herself get to that point and it was stupid... Now she'd have to deal with what came with it.
"Sorry Dinto...." Her voice came out in a broken sob and her hands never left her face. "I'll come back in a bit and feed you." The portal opened up and she stepped through it quickly.
It would have been much easier to break down, to just slump on the floor and sob. She couldn't do that everytime she started to miss him. She had to learn to deal with how everything was working out. She couldn't cry like a broken child like this.
She inhaled sharply, moving her hands from her, puffy, red eyes and looked around her own room. Tears stained her cheeks, and made her hands glisten in the pale lighting. She didn't even want to be in there. So many damn memories... And how many of them ment anything now? Not a one. She probably wouldn't feel like that later... When she was laying in her bed by herself, crying herself to sleep..... Hanging onto those memories like they were the most important thing in her non-existance. They would be. It would have been all she had to hold onto then. Memories. How ironic was this?
Things happened, other's became valuable... This life suddenly didn't feel so hollow and empty. It felt full of purpose.... Full of meaning. It might not all have been happy or joyous, but, it was full of meaning none the less.
Now here she was, standing in the abandoned room. It felt almost like being at the beginning again. His scent was still there. It was faint, but she could smell him. She could almost feel him. To think, she really didn't like him the first time they met. He was just another pretty face that thought he could get whatever he wanted with it. Though, she had to admit, she sort of fell in love with his gorgeous sapphire eyes... And he apparently could get whatever he wanted. At least she had called it right.
She hugged herself, while her dim, violet eyes scanned the cold room. Dark bags rested under her eyes. Even though she didn't sleep much on a daily basis, she was starting to not sleep at all. It wasn't just because of him... Other's were beginning to leave also. But... Everytime she closed her eyes, guess who it was there?
Lylhox wouldn't be happy about her not sleeping. It was hard to sleep though. When you'd lay in bed and do nothing but stare at the empty space above you. Your thoughts screaming so loud you couldn't sleep. She gave a deep sigh, looking around the room.
Her ears twitched slightly hearing a slight mew and she looked down.
Dinto.
Hadn't someone come by and taken the cat with them yet? Surely one of his...... Lover's should have collected the damn cat.
"Stupid excuses for non-existing...."
She frowned, not exactly being fond of the animal, but she knealt down to scratch the cat under it's chin. It looked like it needed some kind of attention. She knew the feeling all too well.
Poor Dinto.... Kemix might have left me behind, but I can at least fend for myself.
It was just the thought of that that made her want to cry. It was like a flash after the thought and the tears began to burn behind her eyes. She grimaced and jerked her hand back from the cat. She stood up quickly and began to rub her eyes with her hands.
Left me behind.
It seemed to echo in her now empty thoughts. She knew it was killing him to stay here.... She knew he was happier away from this place, away from everything he didn't like about it. He was better off with Chixara and everyone else who'd left this place. She even knew that there was nothing she could do to ease the suffering he was feeling.
It still didn't numb the pain she felt. It was stupid to feel like that, even though she knew and understood why it had to happen. I guess it just didn't make it hurt any less... It was probably the fact that there was nothing she could do to make him feel better, or to make him stay.
That's what she got for letting herself get in too deep with him. For loving him like she did. She knew it was just going to end up hurting her, but she never pictured it would have been like this. She could have shaken everything else off, but this...
Sad, but it would have been easier to hear "I don't love you." or "I've finally decided to settle with someone." "We're done, I want nothing to do with you." rather then to have nothing really and him just be gone. There was no definate finish or ending to anything. He was just.... Gone. He'd come back... But, most of the time, he was gone. No where she could reach him. She couldn't see him when she wanted, no way she could find him.... She couldn't take much more of this. She let herself get to that point and it was stupid... Now she'd have to deal with what came with it.
"Sorry Dinto...." Her voice came out in a broken sob and her hands never left her face. "I'll come back in a bit and feed you." The portal opened up and she stepped through it quickly.
It would have been much easier to break down, to just slump on the floor and sob. She couldn't do that everytime she started to miss him. She had to learn to deal with how everything was working out. She couldn't cry like a broken child like this.
She inhaled sharply, moving her hands from her, puffy, red eyes and looked around her own room. Tears stained her cheeks, and made her hands glisten in the pale lighting. She didn't even want to be in there. So many damn memories... And how many of them ment anything now? Not a one. She probably wouldn't feel like that later... When she was laying in her bed by herself, crying herself to sleep..... Hanging onto those memories like they were the most important thing in her non-existance. They would be. It would have been all she had to hold onto then. Memories. How ironic was this?
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Random Blah Byx/Raven
Dec. 21st, 2008 | 10:04 pm
You know that feeling when you're drowning?
Where you're fighting to breathe as the water washes over you.
Scratching and clawing your way to get back to the surface.
Only to be choked by the water filling your lungs.
So you can't breathe or scream, no matter how hard you try.
You struggle and fight so hard, but nothing you're doing seems to help.
It just seems to make it worse sometimes.
Then there's that euphoric feeling as you give in and let it wash you over.
You know you're going to die, so you accept it.
And it's beautiful.
Yeah.
That's how it feels to be in love.
That's how I feel when I'm with him....
That's how I feel without him....
Why do I even feel at all?
----------------------------------------
It's not a bad feeling, just a feeling I've never felt. At least, never felt this hard.
Love, it's not as grand as everyone makes it out to be either. So what if you think you can feel it? It's just as bad as it is good. Dumbasses.
You have to sacrifice and give up things, ideals... Beliefs. You have to lose to gain, but what is it that you gain?
Whatever.
It's scary. You're at that moment where you want to just throw your entire self.... Or rather, what's left of yourself to him... But you hesitate for the selfish reason, of course.
What's mine is mine? Why should I share?
Not that I feel that way, of course.
But it's just that "what if?"
What if I did give him all that I was? Give him that spoken promise of his and his alone? I couldn't think of anything that would thrill me more, nothing else would make me feel so... Complete.
Kind of a halfway road.... Because, you know him. You love him for who he is. You don't want to change him... But, giving your all to someone who will eventually end up in the arms of another. Giving them his sweet words of love, giving his body and what's left of his soul to them for the moment. Loving them.... Touching them... Kissing them.
Feeling like that makes me sick. I can feel my skin crawling and burning at those thoughts.
I know better. Does that make it wrong for me to want things like that though?
Even though I know he can never do those things for me, is it still wrong for me to not want to let him go?
Why's it so hard after you find the one that completes you, to just be with them and not have to worry about other forces coming between you?
Because.... Nothing's fair or how you want it to be in this non-existance.
I'll keep fucking my best friend.... I'll keep loving him... I'll keep withholding myself from him.... Til I'm able to let go of these petty, selfish feelings.
I'll probably be dead before that happens.
There's no one else I'd rather waste my time with..... Even if it'll never end up being how I want.
I love him.... Sometimes I want to drown in him and never recover.
I just wish it didn't come with those thoughts... Or the pain sometimes.
Guess you do have to take the good with the bad.
----------------------------------------
It's not like I wanted to love him. At all. I wanted to love Jun.
Or rather, just to have Jun love me back.
Ah well.
What started out as hate and dislike somehow managed to blossom into something so... Wonderful.
I thought waking up to Jun in the morning was something special....... I didn't know there could be something better waiting.
Hell, I didn't know I had it in me at all. A male.... A man, so much manlier then I am in appearances. I couldn't be happier.
I wonder though... If he realizes that he manages to take my breath away? Silly as it sounds of course, but, he does.
At the castle, when we have on our normal game faces... If he passes me in the hall, it never fails to just make me pause and forget to breathe. It's so hard to not just stop and watch him. It's hard to clinch my fist and keep walking. I always hope no one's around so I can grab him and pull him close to kiss his sweet lips. Run my fingers through his blonde hair... Run my hands over his muscled arms....
It's not hard to get lost in him, that's for sure.
So many details of him that I love... That, I really shouldn't. At least, not from a male's stand point. I'm sure he's the dream of quite a few girls, as, I seem to be. Strange.
Those broad shoulders..... Muscled body.... His goatee.... His pierced ears....
The blush on his face when I happen to make him flustered. The way his features soften when he smiles..... How innocent and happy he looks when he's asleep.
I'm sure this could go on for a while.
I never thought I'd could be this happy again.... But, I was wrong... And, I thank him for proving that to me.
After Jun abandoning me..... I don't think I would have made it out after I realized what had happened.
Thankfully his grudging ass was there...... I'm thankful I got him to be adult about this..... Kind of thankful he hit on me. Else, we wouldn't be right where we are now.
Love and happiness.
----------------------------------------
I did it again.
Nothing's set in stone... Nothing's permanent. I crossed the lines of friendship to seek comfort and something for myself.
I still did it again.
I used someone that would have given me everything I wanted... And tried to actually...
It's not that I don't care for him. I do. We dated, we did our little thing.... I guess that's why I feel comfortable running back here. I do care for him... I do. To some degree, I love Nor.
Call me a spoiled, selfish child. It's what I feel like right now, in this moment. 'So this is what it feels like to have someone to yourself again?'
He was gone.... I couldn't find him anywhere.... I couldn't use the necklace to search him out... Anything's better then being alone. Maybe I'll try to play the game by his rules this once.
Spoiled, selfish child? No. Maybe a bitter, spiteful one.
Laid in Nor's bed, curled up to his chest... My cheek resting against him... Moving with the slow rise and fall of his chest. His hand in my hair from where he had fallen asleep running his fingers through it. My fingers tracing over the scars of his chest idlely.
During, it was nothing but the two of us. Nor and myself, tangled up in all that passion and desire. Raw sex... Of two people that actually missed each other. Before, Kemix barely crossed my thoughts. If he did, it would hurt. I didn't want to hurt. I don't want to hurt him.... I really don't want to hurt anyone. Now, after, I was thinking of Kemix.... Like I had often did after being with Nor before. Where was he now? Who was he currently in bed with? Who was getting to hear him talk, or laugh... Or cry? Who was getting to enjoy the feel of his skin brushing their's?
Someone was getting to enjoy him.... He'd better not be alone in his room, emoing or being upset. Someone better be out there, making him happy... Showing him he's loved... And appreciated.... Doing the things for him I couldn't. Jealously tends to be a bitch at the worst times.
The thought was enough to make me want to cry. I fought it back, curling closer to Nor. I buried my face in his neck, all my movements making him groan and shift himself. I felt him pull me closer, his face nuzzling to my hair as he grumbled something. It made me give a soft laugh.
Was it really fair to be thinking about Kemix right now anyway? I don't think I'd want someone to sleep with me, then think about someone else altogether afterwards... I wonder if they did anyway. Sheesh. I should probably just stop thinking. And.... Nor said he still cared about me, he missed me... How fair is it to him to be pining over Kemix while I'm being with him? It's not fair at all. He fucked me, loved me, treated me like I was the only one..... And here I am, thinking about Kemix and how I miss him... And how I just wish I could be where ever he is right now.
Pathetic. At least Kemix would be happy to know that even if I do fuck someone else, he's never far from my mind. He might get some kind of reassurance out of that... Not that he'd believe me probably.
He's probably busy with his friends or his lovers anyway... He won't notice that I'm not where I usually am. Kemix's probably enjoying himself elsewhere.
I gave a soft sigh, I was done with thinking. I was just going to rest. Enjoying the warmth of Nor, and hoping when I wake up tomorrow, things wouldn't be hectic. I closed my eyes, moving to hide my face in the blonde and red mess of Nor's hair. This was actually kind of nice.... Considering it wasn't him.
Where you're fighting to breathe as the water washes over you.
Scratching and clawing your way to get back to the surface.
Only to be choked by the water filling your lungs.
So you can't breathe or scream, no matter how hard you try.
You struggle and fight so hard, but nothing you're doing seems to help.
It just seems to make it worse sometimes.
Then there's that euphoric feeling as you give in and let it wash you over.
You know you're going to die, so you accept it.
And it's beautiful.
Yeah.
That's how it feels to be in love.
That's how I feel when I'm with him....
That's how I feel without him....
Why do I even feel at all?
----------------------------------------
It's not a bad feeling, just a feeling I've never felt. At least, never felt this hard.
Love, it's not as grand as everyone makes it out to be either. So what if you think you can feel it? It's just as bad as it is good. Dumbasses.
You have to sacrifice and give up things, ideals... Beliefs. You have to lose to gain, but what is it that you gain?
Whatever.
It's scary. You're at that moment where you want to just throw your entire self.... Or rather, what's left of yourself to him... But you hesitate for the selfish reason, of course.
What's mine is mine? Why should I share?
Not that I feel that way, of course.
But it's just that "what if?"
What if I did give him all that I was? Give him that spoken promise of his and his alone? I couldn't think of anything that would thrill me more, nothing else would make me feel so... Complete.
Kind of a halfway road.... Because, you know him. You love him for who he is. You don't want to change him... But, giving your all to someone who will eventually end up in the arms of another. Giving them his sweet words of love, giving his body and what's left of his soul to them for the moment. Loving them.... Touching them... Kissing them.
Feeling like that makes me sick. I can feel my skin crawling and burning at those thoughts.
I know better. Does that make it wrong for me to want things like that though?
Even though I know he can never do those things for me, is it still wrong for me to not want to let him go?
Why's it so hard after you find the one that completes you, to just be with them and not have to worry about other forces coming between you?
Because.... Nothing's fair or how you want it to be in this non-existance.
I'll keep fucking my best friend.... I'll keep loving him... I'll keep withholding myself from him.... Til I'm able to let go of these petty, selfish feelings.
I'll probably be dead before that happens.
There's no one else I'd rather waste my time with..... Even if it'll never end up being how I want.
I love him.... Sometimes I want to drown in him and never recover.
I just wish it didn't come with those thoughts... Or the pain sometimes.
Guess you do have to take the good with the bad.
----------------------------------------
It's not like I wanted to love him. At all. I wanted to love Jun.
Or rather, just to have Jun love me back.
Ah well.
What started out as hate and dislike somehow managed to blossom into something so... Wonderful.
I thought waking up to Jun in the morning was something special....... I didn't know there could be something better waiting.
Hell, I didn't know I had it in me at all. A male.... A man, so much manlier then I am in appearances. I couldn't be happier.
I wonder though... If he realizes that he manages to take my breath away? Silly as it sounds of course, but, he does.
At the castle, when we have on our normal game faces... If he passes me in the hall, it never fails to just make me pause and forget to breathe. It's so hard to not just stop and watch him. It's hard to clinch my fist and keep walking. I always hope no one's around so I can grab him and pull him close to kiss his sweet lips. Run my fingers through his blonde hair... Run my hands over his muscled arms....
It's not hard to get lost in him, that's for sure.
So many details of him that I love... That, I really shouldn't. At least, not from a male's stand point. I'm sure he's the dream of quite a few girls, as, I seem to be. Strange.
Those broad shoulders..... Muscled body.... His goatee.... His pierced ears....
The blush on his face when I happen to make him flustered. The way his features soften when he smiles..... How innocent and happy he looks when he's asleep.
I'm sure this could go on for a while.
I never thought I'd could be this happy again.... But, I was wrong... And, I thank him for proving that to me.
After Jun abandoning me..... I don't think I would have made it out after I realized what had happened.
Thankfully his grudging ass was there...... I'm thankful I got him to be adult about this..... Kind of thankful he hit on me. Else, we wouldn't be right where we are now.
Love and happiness.
----------------------------------------
I did it again.
Nothing's set in stone... Nothing's permanent. I crossed the lines of friendship to seek comfort and something for myself.
I still did it again.
I used someone that would have given me everything I wanted... And tried to actually...
It's not that I don't care for him. I do. We dated, we did our little thing.... I guess that's why I feel comfortable running back here. I do care for him... I do. To some degree, I love Nor.
Call me a spoiled, selfish child. It's what I feel like right now, in this moment. 'So this is what it feels like to have someone to yourself again?'
He was gone.... I couldn't find him anywhere.... I couldn't use the necklace to search him out... Anything's better then being alone. Maybe I'll try to play the game by his rules this once.
Spoiled, selfish child? No. Maybe a bitter, spiteful one.
Laid in Nor's bed, curled up to his chest... My cheek resting against him... Moving with the slow rise and fall of his chest. His hand in my hair from where he had fallen asleep running his fingers through it. My fingers tracing over the scars of his chest idlely.
During, it was nothing but the two of us. Nor and myself, tangled up in all that passion and desire. Raw sex... Of two people that actually missed each other. Before, Kemix barely crossed my thoughts. If he did, it would hurt. I didn't want to hurt. I don't want to hurt him.... I really don't want to hurt anyone. Now, after, I was thinking of Kemix.... Like I had often did after being with Nor before. Where was he now? Who was he currently in bed with? Who was getting to hear him talk, or laugh... Or cry? Who was getting to enjoy the feel of his skin brushing their's?
Someone was getting to enjoy him.... He'd better not be alone in his room, emoing or being upset. Someone better be out there, making him happy... Showing him he's loved... And appreciated.... Doing the things for him I couldn't. Jealously tends to be a bitch at the worst times.
The thought was enough to make me want to cry. I fought it back, curling closer to Nor. I buried my face in his neck, all my movements making him groan and shift himself. I felt him pull me closer, his face nuzzling to my hair as he grumbled something. It made me give a soft laugh.
Was it really fair to be thinking about Kemix right now anyway? I don't think I'd want someone to sleep with me, then think about someone else altogether afterwards... I wonder if they did anyway. Sheesh. I should probably just stop thinking. And.... Nor said he still cared about me, he missed me... How fair is it to him to be pining over Kemix while I'm being with him? It's not fair at all. He fucked me, loved me, treated me like I was the only one..... And here I am, thinking about Kemix and how I miss him... And how I just wish I could be where ever he is right now.
Pathetic. At least Kemix would be happy to know that even if I do fuck someone else, he's never far from my mind. He might get some kind of reassurance out of that... Not that he'd believe me probably.
He's probably busy with his friends or his lovers anyway... He won't notice that I'm not where I usually am. Kemix's probably enjoying himself elsewhere.
I gave a soft sigh, I was done with thinking. I was just going to rest. Enjoying the warmth of Nor, and hoping when I wake up tomorrow, things wouldn't be hectic. I closed my eyes, moving to hide my face in the blonde and red mess of Nor's hair. This was actually kind of nice.... Considering it wasn't him.
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Emo Blah blah blah - Byxie
Dec. 13th, 2008 | 03:13 am
mood: 
disappointed
It was so hard to struggle against the weight of it all.
Why should I bother anymore?
I stared in the mirror..... My violet eyes rather blank... Void of any kind of feeling. I couldn't even muster up enough emotion to feel anger anymore. I blinked, staring at my face for a moment.
Everyone said it was so pretty. I didn't believe it. Pale skin..... Dark freckles.... What was so pretty about this face? Why did everyone seem to want it?
Oh wait... I forgot. No one wants this face.
There it was..... That anger I had been wanting to feel. It surged through my system. I clinched my fist at my sides and gritted my teeth.
Nothing ever worked out for me... At all. Not that I ever expected it too. I just had hoped, for once..... I could get it my way and not have to worry about it blowing up in my face.
Why was it so fuckin' hard to try and have things my way for once? WHY did I have to suffer?
Hadn't I gone through enough?
Wasn't Chix fucking around on me.... And Nor... Wasn't that enough? I just want....... Why..... I just want the love I use to have....
I let out a loud growl and the next thing I knew, the mirror was shattered under my hand, bits and pieces of it crashing into the sink..... Blood droplets quickly following. The pain didn't make me feel better. At all. I was growling more, staring at the torn flesh of my hand, the jagged cuts and the shards of glass now stuck in there. I could feel the anger failing....
I started to cry. It was so sudden.....
I let myself fall back on the floor, hard on my ass and I just sat there.... Crying.
I was so pathetic. Sitting on my bathroom floor... My hand cut up, bleeding.... And I was sobbing. Sobbing because I couldn't get the love I wanted.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
Right. I just wanted to be happy. Like everyone else.... Or rather, everyone that was happy with their current 'love' situations.
Now I know why we were suppose to have lost all these stupid emotions. Fuck.....
I let myself fall back on the floor, sobbing still. It just hurt... So much. Why did it have to hurt like this?
Bringing my non-injured hand to my face, I let it rest on my forehead, my injuried hand..... It moved limply to my chest... Where my heart should have been.
This pain... I want it to stop.... Why do I have to hurt like this? I know... I'm a bitch, but.... No. This is perfect. This is exactly how my non-existance is going to go.
I'm meant to be lying in my bathroom...... Crying like a little bitch over something so stupid and trivial. Yep. Story of my life.
I grimaced at the thought and dug my nails into the flesh of my face. The feeling of the nails breaking that soft, tender flesh helped my feelings stray from the pain that was nearly making my chest burst.
It wasn't stupid and trivial.... It was important.... Obviously. Else I wouldn't be such a wreck about it.
"FUCK."
I finally found my voice. There was a deep growl in my throat and I tore my nails into my flesh and ripped them out. It left a nice sting...... And I could feel the blood starting to trickle down the sides of my face.... I pushed myself off the floor.
"Fuck... Fuck fuck.... FUCK. Fuck it all...."
I was sitting up again...... Barely.
"I hate this place... I hate everyone in it... I just want to be left the fuck alone...."
I shut my eyes, they were burning from the hot tears. I fuckin' hated everything in this place. I hated their faces.... I hated the way they could all love each other and be happy.... I hated that I was jealous of them.... I hated myself.
It had been hours..... Probably days, I wasn't sure anymore..... I found myself out walking about in public. Well, not so much the public, but..... You know. Modern world... Modern clothes, modern attitude.
I didn't know who the big boy was, all I knew is he could probably hurt me if he wanted too. And.... I wanted him too. Anything was better then feeling this kind of dead emptiness inside of me. It was reminding me of when I lost /her/... It was reminding me of how to shit my non-existance was.
I wanted Kemix, he wants to love everyone else. Loves me, doesn't want to share me, but... Also loves everyone else naturally. Xi wants me, and I want Kemix..... Not only am I fucking up my own life, I'm working on doing a fine job on someone else's.... I can't take a step without someone being hurt.... Fuck me.
The charm I used on Kemix so many times... It was amazing how well it would work on someone else. Apparently I had something... Too bad it wasn't enough.
To think... All I had to do was twitch my hips... Play with my tongue rings and throw a few flirty phrases his way and he was already dragging me home. Men were such simple creatures.
It wasn't long before we were undressed. He wanted to kiss me, but... I don't kiss tools.
Hurt me.... Bite me, claw me... Make me bleed. I ordered him. He had no qualms. Once the condom was on, he wasted no time.
His hand twisted in my hair, my face partially shoved in the pillows. His teeth sinking into my back... My shoulders..... A set of nails dragging into my side. Such hard fucking.
With all the pain in my system, I didn't have time to think about anything.
I wasn't sure entirely how long it took...... I remembered crying out in pain and him getting off the bed. My thoughts and feeling were blank.
I sat up, running my hand through my hair.... My scalp was tender from the way he had pulled my hair.
I wanted to turn to see where the man had went and realised he might have hurt me more then I thought. My mid-section twisted and nothing but seering pain shot up my back. I shivered, it's what I had wanted from him, it was his only purpose.
I could feel it. My back was covered in claw marks....... Bite marks..... Teeth marks everywhere. Some felt deep enough to bleed. I'd feel it when I showered... Getting him off of me. I just wanted the wounds to stay. I wanted to feel something else... I wanted to feel something other then not getting what I want and breaking what I could have. Something other then that fuckin' selfish feeling. I got what I wanted this time.
I pulled his dark sheets over my chest and moved to get off the bed. However, I immediately fell to the floor, biting back a cry of pain. He had fucked me real hard. My legs were weak and I ached so bad....
Fuck.
I pulled myself up, panting as I did so, a rather sadistic grin crossing my features. It hurt so bad....... Great. I sat back on the bed, closing my eyes and just letting it all wash over me. The pain, it was so perfect. It helped to wash away the thoughts of everything else.
He came back in.... Over to the bed....
Again. I wanted to hurt so bad I couldn't stand.
I didn't want to think of anything else for days.
Why should I bother anymore?
I stared in the mirror..... My violet eyes rather blank... Void of any kind of feeling. I couldn't even muster up enough emotion to feel anger anymore. I blinked, staring at my face for a moment.
Everyone said it was so pretty. I didn't believe it. Pale skin..... Dark freckles.... What was so pretty about this face? Why did everyone seem to want it?
Oh wait... I forgot. No one wants this face.
There it was..... That anger I had been wanting to feel. It surged through my system. I clinched my fist at my sides and gritted my teeth.
Nothing ever worked out for me... At all. Not that I ever expected it too. I just had hoped, for once..... I could get it my way and not have to worry about it blowing up in my face.
Why was it so fuckin' hard to try and have things my way for once? WHY did I have to suffer?
Hadn't I gone through enough?
Wasn't Chix fucking around on me.... And Nor... Wasn't that enough? I just want....... Why..... I just want the love I use to have....
I let out a loud growl and the next thing I knew, the mirror was shattered under my hand, bits and pieces of it crashing into the sink..... Blood droplets quickly following. The pain didn't make me feel better. At all. I was growling more, staring at the torn flesh of my hand, the jagged cuts and the shards of glass now stuck in there. I could feel the anger failing....
I started to cry. It was so sudden.....
I let myself fall back on the floor, hard on my ass and I just sat there.... Crying.
I was so pathetic. Sitting on my bathroom floor... My hand cut up, bleeding.... And I was sobbing. Sobbing because I couldn't get the love I wanted.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
Right. I just wanted to be happy. Like everyone else.... Or rather, everyone that was happy with their current 'love' situations.
Now I know why we were suppose to have lost all these stupid emotions. Fuck.....
I let myself fall back on the floor, sobbing still. It just hurt... So much. Why did it have to hurt like this?
Bringing my non-injured hand to my face, I let it rest on my forehead, my injuried hand..... It moved limply to my chest... Where my heart should have been.
This pain... I want it to stop.... Why do I have to hurt like this? I know... I'm a bitch, but.... No. This is perfect. This is exactly how my non-existance is going to go.
I'm meant to be lying in my bathroom...... Crying like a little bitch over something so stupid and trivial. Yep. Story of my life.
I grimaced at the thought and dug my nails into the flesh of my face. The feeling of the nails breaking that soft, tender flesh helped my feelings stray from the pain that was nearly making my chest burst.
It wasn't stupid and trivial.... It was important.... Obviously. Else I wouldn't be such a wreck about it.
"FUCK."
I finally found my voice. There was a deep growl in my throat and I tore my nails into my flesh and ripped them out. It left a nice sting...... And I could feel the blood starting to trickle down the sides of my face.... I pushed myself off the floor.
"Fuck... Fuck fuck.... FUCK. Fuck it all...."
I was sitting up again...... Barely.
"I hate this place... I hate everyone in it... I just want to be left the fuck alone...."
I shut my eyes, they were burning from the hot tears. I fuckin' hated everything in this place. I hated their faces.... I hated the way they could all love each other and be happy.... I hated that I was jealous of them.... I hated myself.
It had been hours..... Probably days, I wasn't sure anymore..... I found myself out walking about in public. Well, not so much the public, but..... You know. Modern world... Modern clothes, modern attitude.
I didn't know who the big boy was, all I knew is he could probably hurt me if he wanted too. And.... I wanted him too. Anything was better then feeling this kind of dead emptiness inside of me. It was reminding me of when I lost /her/... It was reminding me of how to shit my non-existance was.
I wanted Kemix, he wants to love everyone else. Loves me, doesn't want to share me, but... Also loves everyone else naturally. Xi wants me, and I want Kemix..... Not only am I fucking up my own life, I'm working on doing a fine job on someone else's.... I can't take a step without someone being hurt.... Fuck me.
The charm I used on Kemix so many times... It was amazing how well it would work on someone else. Apparently I had something... Too bad it wasn't enough.
To think... All I had to do was twitch my hips... Play with my tongue rings and throw a few flirty phrases his way and he was already dragging me home. Men were such simple creatures.
It wasn't long before we were undressed. He wanted to kiss me, but... I don't kiss tools.
Hurt me.... Bite me, claw me... Make me bleed. I ordered him. He had no qualms. Once the condom was on, he wasted no time.
His hand twisted in my hair, my face partially shoved in the pillows. His teeth sinking into my back... My shoulders..... A set of nails dragging into my side. Such hard fucking.
With all the pain in my system, I didn't have time to think about anything.
I wasn't sure entirely how long it took...... I remembered crying out in pain and him getting off the bed. My thoughts and feeling were blank.
I sat up, running my hand through my hair.... My scalp was tender from the way he had pulled my hair.
I wanted to turn to see where the man had went and realised he might have hurt me more then I thought. My mid-section twisted and nothing but seering pain shot up my back. I shivered, it's what I had wanted from him, it was his only purpose.
I could feel it. My back was covered in claw marks....... Bite marks..... Teeth marks everywhere. Some felt deep enough to bleed. I'd feel it when I showered... Getting him off of me. I just wanted the wounds to stay. I wanted to feel something else... I wanted to feel something other then not getting what I want and breaking what I could have. Something other then that fuckin' selfish feeling. I got what I wanted this time.
I pulled his dark sheets over my chest and moved to get off the bed. However, I immediately fell to the floor, biting back a cry of pain. He had fucked me real hard. My legs were weak and I ached so bad....
Fuck.
I pulled myself up, panting as I did so, a rather sadistic grin crossing my features. It hurt so bad....... Great. I sat back on the bed, closing my eyes and just letting it all wash over me. The pain, it was so perfect. It helped to wash away the thoughts of everything else.
He came back in.... Over to the bed....
Again. I wanted to hurt so bad I couldn't stand.
I didn't want to think of anything else for days.
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
I just want to know you're there - KemByx
Dec. 11th, 2008 | 01:33 am
mood: 
envious
He's the only one I want. Yet, it's not like that.
He can keep his lovers... He can flirt and make out with who ever he wants.
Still, I just want him, no one else. He's all I need. He's all that I want.
He's my best friend.
I can't have him to myself? It's fine.
We're just friends anyway. Since when do friends need to keep each other to themselves?
They don't. You're not allowed to do your friends in such ways. Friends are for everyone....
Yeah. Everyone.
She made a portal to his room, feeling better when she saw that he was alone. She took a few steps in, the portal vanishing behind her. She had her coat halfway thrown on, revealing her rather snug black tank top and the green and black boy shorts she was wearing. Her body shaking slightly from being woke up so abruptly.... And crying.
She hated having nightmares... Espically ones where she had to wake up alone....
When it involved someone close to her. Someone she knew she couldn't non-exist without.
"Kemix...?" Her voice soft, somehow managing to wake him from his sleep. She stood on his side of the bed, rubbing her coat sleeve, that was falling off anyway.
"Eh..?" Kemix grumbled as he sat up. He saw it was Byx and ran a hand through his hair. "Byx...? You alright?" He shifted, sitting up fully so he could cut on his bedside lamp.
"Actually...." Now her voice was slightly shakey. Fuck...... She shook her head slightly, bringing her sleeves to her face. She didn't want to cry again, though her face was probably still evident of it. The light switched on and she flinched, moving her hands to block the light from her face.
"Byx, what's wrong?" Kemix sounded a little more worried now as he moved to the edge of the bed. He grabbed her arms and pulled her to him no problem.
"It's stupid." She said, her voice shaking with tears, which were being concealed behind her hands and coat sleeves. Not that it would be hard to figure out.
"Hey.... Byx...." Kemix said softly, frowning slightly at how the purple explosion was acting. He rubbed her arms gently. "Tell me. I won't think it's stupid. What's wrong?"
"A d-dream...." She started, moving her hands from her face. She didn't look at him, she just glared off to the side, tears steadily strolling down her cheeks. "It was... A s-stupid nightmare." She didn't want to tell him he died on her.... She closed her eyes at the thought, and clinched her first at her sides. Why did some stupid visual she had while she slept rattle her so badly?
"What happened....?" He said softly, watching her actions. His hands moved from her arms to slip inside her coat. His hands rubbing her sides, trying to comfort her. Surprisingly enough, the feeling of his warm hands on her sides was rather comforting. She eased up, her posture slumping at his touch. Amazing how he could do that, and she just automatically wanted to melt into his arms and spew words all over him. She fought off that feeling.
"Well...." She started, her hands resting on his arms. His skin felt so warm under her hands, which seemed cold and sweaty. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. Meanwhile, his hands had slipped under her top, fingers brushing across her bare skin now. "We... Were fighting. Not us at each o-other but... A-against a... I.... I Don't know what it was." She shook her head, gripping his arm tightly as she thought about the next part. She didn't want too. FUCK. "Not that it ma-matters... Why do you always have to die on me?"
"What?" Kemix blinked, looking up at her, frowning. "Byx.... What are you talking about?"
"My dreams......" She said slightly defeated and slumping slightly. She reached up, rubbing the tears off one of her cheeks, not that it would have helped. More just took their place. "You're always doing something I tell you not to do..... Shoving me out of the way... Putting yourself in danger..... Not wanting to hurt someone.... And you end up dying." She rubbed at her eye again. There was no way something that never happened should hurt her so much. Maybe it was the fact he'd actually do something like that. She didn't want him to die... Not from her stupidity or someone else's. Even his own... "I told you it was stupid." She didn't even want to look at him. She really did feel stupid... Visuals getting the best of her. Why was she so... Vulnerable when it came to him?
"Byx... It's not stupid." His voice soft.. Comforting. Almost like she could believe him. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her to him. She took the few steps foward, her hands resting on his shoulders. His head rested on her chest and she wrapped her arms around him, holding him close. "It's not stupid at all." He mumbled, feeling bad that a dream about him would put her in such a state. "It's not... I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry.... Just...... Don't die on me." She held him tighter, grabbing onto his shoulders. If there was ever a time she felt like crying and didn't care, it was probably now.
"I'm not going too. You know I'm not going too.... I told you I wouldn't leave you. Ever." He replied with a soft laugh. He sat up slightly, causing her hold on him to loosen. "C'mon..... Let's get you out of the coat and in bed with me." She gave a faint nod, letting him take the coat off her. It hit the floor and she immediately fell into his arms. Into his warmth. It caught him off guard, but he held her in his arms, rubbing her back and whispering soft, sweet things in her ear, trying to make her feel better.... To reassure her he wouldn't leave her.... Or die on her. Her fears wouldn't be justified, not as long as he could help it.
It was so easy to believe him while she was in such a state of distress. It was.... Espically if he sounded so sincere. Why shouldn't she believe him? What reason would he have to lie to her? He wouldn't lie to her... He knew better. Why lie to the one person that you claimed made you feel complete?
He had pulled her up, onto the bed with him. He shifted, laying her on her side and running a hand through her hair. It did hurt to see her look so defeated. She was always so strong.... So unbreakable. But a dream managed to shake her from her frame... His poor Byxirantt. He cut the light off and pulled the covers over her, crawling under them himself. He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close to him. She grabbed a hold on him, pressing herself as close to him as she could. He gave a sad smile, resting his face in her hair. His poor.... Poor Byxirantt.
She didn't know how it happened. It just did. She wanted comfort from Kemix..... She started kissing him, touching him, just wanting him close to her. She wanted his close contact, to assure her that he was there. She must have pushed all the 'right' buttons.
What little clothes she had been wearing, on the floor. What he had been wearing, also on the floor.
This was different though.... He was kissing her, softly. Well, a little aggressively, but still soft. Compared to what generally happened between them. His touches were so gentle.... So soft. Not a tenderness she was use to at all... And it was Kemix.
It was a whole different type of crying feeling she felt now.
Their movements were so slow, yet so deep. She could feel him, everywhere. His soft caresses on her skin.... His light kisses placed on her shoulders and neck... She could feel him in her. There was no pain... No hurting. But she could still feel... Something simple and pure as this. She felt it. The conversation with their bodies... His unspoken way of saying 'I love you' and 'you'll never lose me'.
'I'll always be here for you'.
She didn't want to lose him... Ever.
Who else would be able to make her feel this way? Who else would be able to hold her like he did, tell her everything would be all? Who else could tell her she was 'sexy' or 'hot' and even though she blew it off, it still made her feel better and smile?
No one.
She clung tight to him, burying her face into his neck. She could smell him, and she loved it. Taking him all in, his scent, his touch.... Him.
"Kemix...." She purred against his flesh. She always enjoyed the way his name rolled off her tongue... She loved him entirely too much.
Over and over again. Soft, slow, deep motions. Filling and satisfying. Meaningful? Maybe this was the 'making love' she'd managed to hear Lylhox talk about once.
His head was hanging slightly. He was panting softly, whispering the occasional 'I love you' into her ear. He didn't know why he hadn't had the control to do this with her before. To be able to enjoy her in such a state. She was too hot for her own good, that's why. But this... This... This was his way of showing her everything would be fine. It would be fine, he'd make sure of it.
There was no telling how long this went on, but she didn't want this to end. Not even when she was feeling on the edge of losing herself. She was lost in this new, swelling feeling.. And he was enjoying his fill of having her. The only times that rivaled this was taking her against the wall when he could no longer control the urge of wanting her so badly. Byx would agree with him.. Entirely.
"Byx..." He moaned into her ear, still panting softly. His movements more desperate now.... He wanted to release inside her... She wanted him too as well. She nipped his neck, tasting his sweat.
"Kemix...." She called his name softly, tightening her hold on him. She was ready.... Ready to be lost in that moment, his name rolled off her lips agian.
When that moment came, it was pure bliss. There was no other feeling to block all of it. Everything could be felt. Everything. Her body trembled against his... His body, no better. He let himself rest on top of her, his body shaking slightly, nothing like what was under him. She was holding onto him for dear life, breathing heavily and making soft, pleased noises. He could have eaten her up... If he had the energy.
"God... I love you Byx." Spoken over a pant as he kissed her forehead.
"I love... You too.... Kemix...." Her chest heaving against his slightly as she smiled, enjoying the moment.
The moment, had lasted a few minutes. When he pulled out of her, they both grunted, but Byx went into another slight, trembling fit. Whimpering slightly and not wanting him to go too far from her. Kemix moved to lay beside her, weakly wrapping an arm around her. She moved close to him, back to where they started. She wanted to be close to him... To know he was there. They could always shower and clean up when they woke. She just wanted to remain close to him.... To listen to him breathe.
He can keep his lovers... He can flirt and make out with who ever he wants.
Still, I just want him, no one else. He's all I need. He's all that I want.
He's my best friend.
I can't have him to myself? It's fine.
We're just friends anyway. Since when do friends need to keep each other to themselves?
They don't. You're not allowed to do your friends in such ways. Friends are for everyone....
Yeah. Everyone.
She made a portal to his room, feeling better when she saw that he was alone. She took a few steps in, the portal vanishing behind her. She had her coat halfway thrown on, revealing her rather snug black tank top and the green and black boy shorts she was wearing. Her body shaking slightly from being woke up so abruptly.... And crying.
She hated having nightmares... Espically ones where she had to wake up alone....
When it involved someone close to her. Someone she knew she couldn't non-exist without.
"Kemix...?" Her voice soft, somehow managing to wake him from his sleep. She stood on his side of the bed, rubbing her coat sleeve, that was falling off anyway.
"Eh..?" Kemix grumbled as he sat up. He saw it was Byx and ran a hand through his hair. "Byx...? You alright?" He shifted, sitting up fully so he could cut on his bedside lamp.
"Actually...." Now her voice was slightly shakey. Fuck...... She shook her head slightly, bringing her sleeves to her face. She didn't want to cry again, though her face was probably still evident of it. The light switched on and she flinched, moving her hands to block the light from her face.
"Byx, what's wrong?" Kemix sounded a little more worried now as he moved to the edge of the bed. He grabbed her arms and pulled her to him no problem.
"It's stupid." She said, her voice shaking with tears, which were being concealed behind her hands and coat sleeves. Not that it would be hard to figure out.
"Hey.... Byx...." Kemix said softly, frowning slightly at how the purple explosion was acting. He rubbed her arms gently. "Tell me. I won't think it's stupid. What's wrong?"
"A d-dream...." She started, moving her hands from her face. She didn't look at him, she just glared off to the side, tears steadily strolling down her cheeks. "It was... A s-stupid nightmare." She didn't want to tell him he died on her.... She closed her eyes at the thought, and clinched her first at her sides. Why did some stupid visual she had while she slept rattle her so badly?
"What happened....?" He said softly, watching her actions. His hands moved from her arms to slip inside her coat. His hands rubbing her sides, trying to comfort her. Surprisingly enough, the feeling of his warm hands on her sides was rather comforting. She eased up, her posture slumping at his touch. Amazing how he could do that, and she just automatically wanted to melt into his arms and spew words all over him. She fought off that feeling.
"Well...." She started, her hands resting on his arms. His skin felt so warm under her hands, which seemed cold and sweaty. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. Meanwhile, his hands had slipped under her top, fingers brushing across her bare skin now. "We... Were fighting. Not us at each o-other but... A-against a... I.... I Don't know what it was." She shook her head, gripping his arm tightly as she thought about the next part. She didn't want too. FUCK. "Not that it ma-matters... Why do you always have to die on me?"
"What?" Kemix blinked, looking up at her, frowning. "Byx.... What are you talking about?"
"My dreams......" She said slightly defeated and slumping slightly. She reached up, rubbing the tears off one of her cheeks, not that it would have helped. More just took their place. "You're always doing something I tell you not to do..... Shoving me out of the way... Putting yourself in danger..... Not wanting to hurt someone.... And you end up dying." She rubbed at her eye again. There was no way something that never happened should hurt her so much. Maybe it was the fact he'd actually do something like that. She didn't want him to die... Not from her stupidity or someone else's. Even his own... "I told you it was stupid." She didn't even want to look at him. She really did feel stupid... Visuals getting the best of her. Why was she so... Vulnerable when it came to him?
"Byx... It's not stupid." His voice soft.. Comforting. Almost like she could believe him. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her to him. She took the few steps foward, her hands resting on his shoulders. His head rested on her chest and she wrapped her arms around him, holding him close. "It's not stupid at all." He mumbled, feeling bad that a dream about him would put her in such a state. "It's not... I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry.... Just...... Don't die on me." She held him tighter, grabbing onto his shoulders. If there was ever a time she felt like crying and didn't care, it was probably now.
"I'm not going too. You know I'm not going too.... I told you I wouldn't leave you. Ever." He replied with a soft laugh. He sat up slightly, causing her hold on him to loosen. "C'mon..... Let's get you out of the coat and in bed with me." She gave a faint nod, letting him take the coat off her. It hit the floor and she immediately fell into his arms. Into his warmth. It caught him off guard, but he held her in his arms, rubbing her back and whispering soft, sweet things in her ear, trying to make her feel better.... To reassure her he wouldn't leave her.... Or die on her. Her fears wouldn't be justified, not as long as he could help it.
It was so easy to believe him while she was in such a state of distress. It was.... Espically if he sounded so sincere. Why shouldn't she believe him? What reason would he have to lie to her? He wouldn't lie to her... He knew better. Why lie to the one person that you claimed made you feel complete?
He had pulled her up, onto the bed with him. He shifted, laying her on her side and running a hand through her hair. It did hurt to see her look so defeated. She was always so strong.... So unbreakable. But a dream managed to shake her from her frame... His poor Byxirantt. He cut the light off and pulled the covers over her, crawling under them himself. He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close to him. She grabbed a hold on him, pressing herself as close to him as she could. He gave a sad smile, resting his face in her hair. His poor.... Poor Byxirantt.
She didn't know how it happened. It just did. She wanted comfort from Kemix..... She started kissing him, touching him, just wanting him close to her. She wanted his close contact, to assure her that he was there. She must have pushed all the 'right' buttons.
What little clothes she had been wearing, on the floor. What he had been wearing, also on the floor.
This was different though.... He was kissing her, softly. Well, a little aggressively, but still soft. Compared to what generally happened between them. His touches were so gentle.... So soft. Not a tenderness she was use to at all... And it was Kemix.
It was a whole different type of crying feeling she felt now.
Their movements were so slow, yet so deep. She could feel him, everywhere. His soft caresses on her skin.... His light kisses placed on her shoulders and neck... She could feel him in her. There was no pain... No hurting. But she could still feel... Something simple and pure as this. She felt it. The conversation with their bodies... His unspoken way of saying 'I love you' and 'you'll never lose me'.
'I'll always be here for you'.
She didn't want to lose him... Ever.
Who else would be able to make her feel this way? Who else would be able to hold her like he did, tell her everything would be all? Who else could tell her she was 'sexy' or 'hot' and even though she blew it off, it still made her feel better and smile?
No one.
She clung tight to him, burying her face into his neck. She could smell him, and she loved it. Taking him all in, his scent, his touch.... Him.
"Kemix...." She purred against his flesh. She always enjoyed the way his name rolled off her tongue... She loved him entirely too much.
Over and over again. Soft, slow, deep motions. Filling and satisfying. Meaningful? Maybe this was the 'making love' she'd managed to hear Lylhox talk about once.
His head was hanging slightly. He was panting softly, whispering the occasional 'I love you' into her ear. He didn't know why he hadn't had the control to do this with her before. To be able to enjoy her in such a state. She was too hot for her own good, that's why. But this... This... This was his way of showing her everything would be fine. It would be fine, he'd make sure of it.
There was no telling how long this went on, but she didn't want this to end. Not even when she was feeling on the edge of losing herself. She was lost in this new, swelling feeling.. And he was enjoying his fill of having her. The only times that rivaled this was taking her against the wall when he could no longer control the urge of wanting her so badly. Byx would agree with him.. Entirely.
"Byx..." He moaned into her ear, still panting softly. His movements more desperate now.... He wanted to release inside her... She wanted him too as well. She nipped his neck, tasting his sweat.
"Kemix...." She called his name softly, tightening her hold on him. She was ready.... Ready to be lost in that moment, his name rolled off her lips agian.
When that moment came, it was pure bliss. There was no other feeling to block all of it. Everything could be felt. Everything. Her body trembled against his... His body, no better. He let himself rest on top of her, his body shaking slightly, nothing like what was under him. She was holding onto him for dear life, breathing heavily and making soft, pleased noises. He could have eaten her up... If he had the energy.
"God... I love you Byx." Spoken over a pant as he kissed her forehead.
"I love... You too.... Kemix...." Her chest heaving against his slightly as she smiled, enjoying the moment.
The moment, had lasted a few minutes. When he pulled out of her, they both grunted, but Byx went into another slight, trembling fit. Whimpering slightly and not wanting him to go too far from her. Kemix moved to lay beside her, weakly wrapping an arm around her. She moved close to him, back to where they started. She wanted to be close to him... To know he was there. They could always shower and clean up when they woke. She just wanted to remain close to him.... To listen to him breathe.
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Christmas Eve - RoyRav
Dec. 3rd, 2008 | 02:08 am
mood: moody
December 24th - Christmas Eve
Ma always has a big dinner that night. When Dray and I got older, we had our own lives and were just a tad bit too busy on Christmas Day to spend too long, so Ma made us promise that every Christmas Eve, we'd bring the important person in our life with us and all sit down to a big family dinner.
I can't say no to Ma.... And... Surprisingly, she's crazy about Royce. It stunned me. Then again, I had brought Jun over once or twice. I guess he kind of wore that shock off. She never showed that much interest in him though.
After Thanksgiving, I had to bring something by and she was rather dissapointed Royce wasn't with me. It made me smile to know she was looking foward to see him again.
------
"Oh Royce!" Ma's voice always seemed to be filled with such happiness when she called his name. Her big, chocolate eyes always seemed so much brighter, espically if Royce were walking in with me. I watched her shuffle past Drayfus and dad to get to us. I leaned foward, giving Royce a quick warning and he gave a slight laugh, waving back at me.
"I enjoy it, don't worry." He grinned back at me. Ma was already on him, pulling him down so she could plant a large kiss on each of his cheeks.
"Sono così felice siete venuto!" I'm so glad you came! Ma was smiling brightly as she squished his cheeks. "Così giovane bello." Such a handsome young man.
"She said she's glad you came, and that you're a handsome guy." I translated, shaking my head as I grinned. "Calmi giù Ma." Calm down. "Royce doesn't speak Italian, and be gentle with him."
"I think I can handle the abuse Raven." Royce smirked slightly at me as Ma freed him and began to take his coat off. I took the coat from him and started towards the closet. My ears twitched as I heard them.
"It smells good Mrs. Bella."
"Tsk, Royce. Call me Ma."
"I..... Alright."
"Good good. Now c'mon. I want you to taste test what I've been cooking."
"I can handle that." Which was followed by the sound of her shuffling and his being tugged along.
------
It had been a long, loud dinner. Pops complained about any and everything that came to mind. Drayfus was perfectly playing the part of annoying older brother, though, it didn't seem to phase Royce one bit. Ma was just overly excited about the family being together and spending another Holiday together.
I mostly sat there quietly, only throwing something in when I was asked, or felt the need to correct something that had been said. Royce seemed to be enjoying himself once again. Between the food and somewhat constant attention he was getting, he didn't have time to be anyway else. Hopefully, it wasn't too overwhelming for him. That would be just what I need, my family to help run him off... If my love didn't manage to do that first.
After dinner, Drayfus and I cleared the plates to make way for dessert. Sturffoli, zuppa inglese, panforte.... All delicious. And, of course, there was extra in case /someone/ wanted to take some home. I had to grin when she said that. Seems like someone's sweet tooth was highly appreciated.
With Drayfus and Ma in the kitchen cleaning up and Pops in the living room, I barely managed to get Royce out of her grasp, let alone out of her sight. I pulled him into the dark hallway, away from the noise of the rest of the house. Having to watch him all night and not be able to touch him, or kiss him... It had taken it's toll.
"Raven, you alri-"
I didn't give him time to finish. I kissed him, pushing him back against the hallway wall. He made a surprised sound, but didn't object at all, and was quite eager himself. My tongue had barely touched his lips it seemed, then we were both into it. That almost velvety feel of our tongues sliding across each other. The studs in his sent a shiver down my spine, and I couldn't help but want to play with them. Hell, I just wanted to taste him, to feel his lips against mine, his arms around me... His warmth. I could drown in it.
It almost went on forever, until Ma's voice was calling from the other room. Royce pulled back, licking his lips and panting softly. Somehow during the kiss, I ended up against the wall, one of his hands fisted in my hair, holding onto his shirt tightly. I grinned, panting myself as I leaned up, biting his lip playfully, earning a soft growl from him in return.
"Your mom's callin' us." Royce said with a grin, running that hand through my hair, attempting to straighten it back. "We should reappear before we get caught."
"So I heard." I pushed him away and motioned for him to go ahead. "I'll be out in a second. Go appease Ma for me til then." I still needed to catch my breath. He smirked at me as he walked away. Shaking my head, I pushed myself from the wall, running my hands through my hair. I loved that I could still taste him. That would tide me over til we were home.
------
Presents. A lot of them. Though, it was mostly the ones Drayfus and I put under there for our parents, but... Still. It was a lot of damn presents. We opened a few of them. That was fun and horrible all at the same time.
"My boys are all so handsome." Ma had said in a happy sigh as she admired the lot of us.
"I didn't know you could make sweaters Mom....." Drayfus said as he looked down at the one he was wearing. The look on his face said he wished she didn't know how. I couldn't help but to chuckle. That's what he got for laughing at me when I opened mine first. Dray cut me a glare and I just smirked.
"I just learned earlier this year actually."
"Haven't you see the horrors I've been wearing?" Came the rare voice from my father. I looked over at him and smirked slightly. Drayfus was wiggling out of his sweater and setting it back in it's box.
"C'mon Pops...."
"Now that you mention it...." I started and glanced over at Royce. "I do kind of remember you wearing these kind of sweaters Pop. I wasn't aware it was Ma's handy work though. I thought you were just getting senile."
"What are you trying to say Raven?" Ma puffed her cheeks out as she walked over, tugging my ear. I laughed.
"Nothing, nothing. I just didn't think Pops was wearing them of his own free will is all Ma."
"I think it's warm. I like it." Royce said, still looking down at his reindeer sweater. I looked over and arched a brow. Ma made a horrible squeaking sound and moved over to him, hugging his head to her bosom. She began to pet his hair and I had to laugh.
"I knew someone would appreciate my hard work. Thank you Royce!"
"No... Problem?" Royce gave a slight, nervous sounding laugh.
"We appreciate it Mom. Jeez." Drayfus laughed. "We're not ungrateful, you know that." He walked over, pulling Ma off Royce, I assumed so Royce could breathe. I leaned back on the couch.
"Dray's right Ma. Thank you for the great sweaters."
She beamed proudly.
------
We'd been home for a while now. I had blankets and pillows set out in front of the fireplace, were we could relax and enjoy each other's company.... After, of course, I made Royce some hot chocolate.
It had been a slow, slow, enjoyable evening.
The slow, enjoyable evening cast in the faint glow of the fireplace.
There was the kissing. Cute, tender kisses that lasted a few seconds... Each almost directly following the others.
Then, there were the deep kisses, the ones that told you 'I love you' without a word. The gentle caresses following.
The teasing kisses, mixed with the nibbles. The kisses that held the grins in between each as the clothes were slowly being shed... More skin exposed ment more tender touches, more gentle kisses.
I love you... So much.
Royce was laid on his back. I let my hands run over his stomach and his chest. Such a different feeling, and I liked it. I leaned down from my perch to kiss him softly, giving a grunt against his lips. Still not entirely being use to having Royce inside me. It had been a process easing myself down on him, trying to take all him in... Even with the help of lubrications.
His hands squeezed my hips softly as he leaned up, speaking soft words in my ear. I wasn't quite sure what they were, but I liked them. Just hearing his voice in such a soft manner brought me comfort. His lips brushed against my ear, kissing it softly. It caused me to give a soft sigh and I sat up, smiling down at him.
It wasn't long before I was slowly moving. Up and down, up and down... The pain fading out into that simple pleasure. My slightly pained sounds now turning into sounds of pleasure. No one would ever feel me the way Royce would. I don't want to be filled by anyone else.
"Royce, nnnh!" His grunts and soft growls sending chills up my spine. His fingers holding my hips tighter. I don't think I can do this.... I slowed. "Royce..."
In a few, brief moments, it was me on my back, Royce controlling the show. I liked that better. A lot better.
There it was, that un-natural feeling of pleasure as he began to move inside me. I had winched and he moved down, kissing me tenderly, never once pausing in his love making. My arms wrapped around him, keeping him as close as possible in that moment. His back, already a tad bit sweaty to the touch. I ran my hand over the flexing muscles in his back, another one of those feelings I liked.
Such slow motion. It seemed like it had been an eternity that we'd been in this sweet trance. Our hands rested above my head, our fingers twined together. His lips steadily kissing mine, but it still didn't keep the grunts and groans and names from being heard. We were both sweat slicked, lost in the motions... Lost in each other. I'm surprised I was able to hold out this long, the pressure had long been building inside me, and I could feel Royce's slight tensing. Then, his increase in movements, wanting that release. I found my voice then, the faster pace making me moan a little louder. He kissed me deeply, muffling my sounds and his own as we got closer to the edge. My hold on his hands tightened as I found my release, his following after.
It was such a sticky mess... And I wouldn't have it any other way. Sweaty, sticky, and cuddled to each other, feeling completed.
I nuzzled under his chin, a hand softly stroking his belly. He purred, hand playing in my hair, both of us tired as hell, but satisfied none the less. The blankets barely covered us, but it was fine. The fire would keep us plenty warm.
"Royce..."
"Hm?"
".... I love you."
"......... I love you too."
(( .... WOW. Talk about made of FAIL...... -rubs face- ))
Ma always has a big dinner that night. When Dray and I got older, we had our own lives and were just a tad bit too busy on Christmas Day to spend too long, so Ma made us promise that every Christmas Eve, we'd bring the important person in our life with us and all sit down to a big family dinner.
I can't say no to Ma.... And... Surprisingly, she's crazy about Royce. It stunned me. Then again, I had brought Jun over once or twice. I guess he kind of wore that shock off. She never showed that much interest in him though.
After Thanksgiving, I had to bring something by and she was rather dissapointed Royce wasn't with me. It made me smile to know she was looking foward to see him again.
------
"Oh Royce!" Ma's voice always seemed to be filled with such happiness when she called his name. Her big, chocolate eyes always seemed so much brighter, espically if Royce were walking in with me. I watched her shuffle past Drayfus and dad to get to us. I leaned foward, giving Royce a quick warning and he gave a slight laugh, waving back at me.
"I enjoy it, don't worry." He grinned back at me. Ma was already on him, pulling him down so she could plant a large kiss on each of his cheeks.
"Sono così felice siete venuto!" I'm so glad you came! Ma was smiling brightly as she squished his cheeks. "Così giovane bello." Such a handsome young man.
"She said she's glad you came, and that you're a handsome guy." I translated, shaking my head as I grinned. "Calmi giù Ma." Calm down. "Royce doesn't speak Italian, and be gentle with him."
"I think I can handle the abuse Raven." Royce smirked slightly at me as Ma freed him and began to take his coat off. I took the coat from him and started towards the closet. My ears twitched as I heard them.
"It smells good Mrs. Bella."
"Tsk, Royce. Call me Ma."
"I..... Alright."
"Good good. Now c'mon. I want you to taste test what I've been cooking."
"I can handle that." Which was followed by the sound of her shuffling and his being tugged along.
------
It had been a long, loud dinner. Pops complained about any and everything that came to mind. Drayfus was perfectly playing the part of annoying older brother, though, it didn't seem to phase Royce one bit. Ma was just overly excited about the family being together and spending another Holiday together.
I mostly sat there quietly, only throwing something in when I was asked, or felt the need to correct something that had been said. Royce seemed to be enjoying himself once again. Between the food and somewhat constant attention he was getting, he didn't have time to be anyway else. Hopefully, it wasn't too overwhelming for him. That would be just what I need, my family to help run him off... If my love didn't manage to do that first.
After dinner, Drayfus and I cleared the plates to make way for dessert. Sturffoli, zuppa inglese, panforte.... All delicious. And, of course, there was extra in case /someone/ wanted to take some home. I had to grin when she said that. Seems like someone's sweet tooth was highly appreciated.
With Drayfus and Ma in the kitchen cleaning up and Pops in the living room, I barely managed to get Royce out of her grasp, let alone out of her sight. I pulled him into the dark hallway, away from the noise of the rest of the house. Having to watch him all night and not be able to touch him, or kiss him... It had taken it's toll.
"Raven, you alri-"
I didn't give him time to finish. I kissed him, pushing him back against the hallway wall. He made a surprised sound, but didn't object at all, and was quite eager himself. My tongue had barely touched his lips it seemed, then we were both into it. That almost velvety feel of our tongues sliding across each other. The studs in his sent a shiver down my spine, and I couldn't help but want to play with them. Hell, I just wanted to taste him, to feel his lips against mine, his arms around me... His warmth. I could drown in it.
It almost went on forever, until Ma's voice was calling from the other room. Royce pulled back, licking his lips and panting softly. Somehow during the kiss, I ended up against the wall, one of his hands fisted in my hair, holding onto his shirt tightly. I grinned, panting myself as I leaned up, biting his lip playfully, earning a soft growl from him in return.
"Your mom's callin' us." Royce said with a grin, running that hand through my hair, attempting to straighten it back. "We should reappear before we get caught."
"So I heard." I pushed him away and motioned for him to go ahead. "I'll be out in a second. Go appease Ma for me til then." I still needed to catch my breath. He smirked at me as he walked away. Shaking my head, I pushed myself from the wall, running my hands through my hair. I loved that I could still taste him. That would tide me over til we were home.
------
Presents. A lot of them. Though, it was mostly the ones Drayfus and I put under there for our parents, but... Still. It was a lot of damn presents. We opened a few of them. That was fun and horrible all at the same time.
"My boys are all so handsome." Ma had said in a happy sigh as she admired the lot of us.
"I didn't know you could make sweaters Mom....." Drayfus said as he looked down at the one he was wearing. The look on his face said he wished she didn't know how. I couldn't help but to chuckle. That's what he got for laughing at me when I opened mine first. Dray cut me a glare and I just smirked.
"I just learned earlier this year actually."
"Haven't you see the horrors I've been wearing?" Came the rare voice from my father. I looked over at him and smirked slightly. Drayfus was wiggling out of his sweater and setting it back in it's box.
"C'mon Pops...."
"Now that you mention it...." I started and glanced over at Royce. "I do kind of remember you wearing these kind of sweaters Pop. I wasn't aware it was Ma's handy work though. I thought you were just getting senile."
"What are you trying to say Raven?" Ma puffed her cheeks out as she walked over, tugging my ear. I laughed.
"Nothing, nothing. I just didn't think Pops was wearing them of his own free will is all Ma."
"I think it's warm. I like it." Royce said, still looking down at his reindeer sweater. I looked over and arched a brow. Ma made a horrible squeaking sound and moved over to him, hugging his head to her bosom. She began to pet his hair and I had to laugh.
"I knew someone would appreciate my hard work. Thank you Royce!"
"No... Problem?" Royce gave a slight, nervous sounding laugh.
"We appreciate it Mom. Jeez." Drayfus laughed. "We're not ungrateful, you know that." He walked over, pulling Ma off Royce, I assumed so Royce could breathe. I leaned back on the couch.
"Dray's right Ma. Thank you for the great sweaters."
She beamed proudly.
------
We'd been home for a while now. I had blankets and pillows set out in front of the fireplace, were we could relax and enjoy each other's company.... After, of course, I made Royce some hot chocolate.
It had been a slow, slow, enjoyable evening.
The slow, enjoyable evening cast in the faint glow of the fireplace.
There was the kissing. Cute, tender kisses that lasted a few seconds... Each almost directly following the others.
Then, there were the deep kisses, the ones that told you 'I love you' without a word. The gentle caresses following.
The teasing kisses, mixed with the nibbles. The kisses that held the grins in between each as the clothes were slowly being shed... More skin exposed ment more tender touches, more gentle kisses.
I love you... So much.
Royce was laid on his back. I let my hands run over his stomach and his chest. Such a different feeling, and I liked it. I leaned down from my perch to kiss him softly, giving a grunt against his lips. Still not entirely being use to having Royce inside me. It had been a process easing myself down on him, trying to take all him in... Even with the help of lubrications.
His hands squeezed my hips softly as he leaned up, speaking soft words in my ear. I wasn't quite sure what they were, but I liked them. Just hearing his voice in such a soft manner brought me comfort. His lips brushed against my ear, kissing it softly. It caused me to give a soft sigh and I sat up, smiling down at him.
It wasn't long before I was slowly moving. Up and down, up and down... The pain fading out into that simple pleasure. My slightly pained sounds now turning into sounds of pleasure. No one would ever feel me the way Royce would. I don't want to be filled by anyone else.
"Royce, nnnh!" His grunts and soft growls sending chills up my spine. His fingers holding my hips tighter. I don't think I can do this.... I slowed. "Royce..."
In a few, brief moments, it was me on my back, Royce controlling the show. I liked that better. A lot better.
There it was, that un-natural feeling of pleasure as he began to move inside me. I had winched and he moved down, kissing me tenderly, never once pausing in his love making. My arms wrapped around him, keeping him as close as possible in that moment. His back, already a tad bit sweaty to the touch. I ran my hand over the flexing muscles in his back, another one of those feelings I liked.
Such slow motion. It seemed like it had been an eternity that we'd been in this sweet trance. Our hands rested above my head, our fingers twined together. His lips steadily kissing mine, but it still didn't keep the grunts and groans and names from being heard. We were both sweat slicked, lost in the motions... Lost in each other. I'm surprised I was able to hold out this long, the pressure had long been building inside me, and I could feel Royce's slight tensing. Then, his increase in movements, wanting that release. I found my voice then, the faster pace making me moan a little louder. He kissed me deeply, muffling my sounds and his own as we got closer to the edge. My hold on his hands tightened as I found my release, his following after.
It was such a sticky mess... And I wouldn't have it any other way. Sweaty, sticky, and cuddled to each other, feeling completed.
I nuzzled under his chin, a hand softly stroking his belly. He purred, hand playing in my hair, both of us tired as hell, but satisfied none the less. The blankets barely covered us, but it was fine. The fire would keep us plenty warm.
"Royce..."
"Hm?"
".... I love you."
"......... I love you too."
(( .... WOW. Talk about made of FAIL...... -rubs face- ))
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
........ Failed Fluff ;^;
Nov. 18th, 2008 | 04:31 am
Typical day of work as a Keyblader.
Get your mission... Carry it out.... Be successful... Keep darkness from suceeding. Make sure good wins and evil loses. That whole overly done deal.
Generally you're allowed to bring a partner along, espically if it's a rather high class mission.... Well, if you're not assigned one.
I wondered if anyone would really pay much attention to the fact when it's optional, I almost always pick Royce... Or vice-versa.
Very typical "work" day.
Recieved the mission, stopped by Royce's room to drag him along... Not that I had ulterior motives. We get to our destination, relatively tame world, no need for the appearance changes. It hardly takes long to get to our mark and eliminate it. The sooner, the better. Generally a large area with no one around BUT the target is the best. We got lucky.
I managed to steal a kiss after we had finished. It couldn't be helped. Royce's face when he's fighting... He's so serious about it, and you can read it in his expressions. However, after stealing the kiss, his face turned bright red and he tried to mask that with his anger. I just grinned, letting my keyblade vanish and then started back towards the village.
Naturally, the market is the place I visit before leaving each world. It's probably one of the true reasons I still do this keyblading, destiny thing. I have better things that I could be doing.... Thankfully the one better thing is already here.
"This looks good...." I said to the lady behind the counter, picking up a strange looking orange fruit. She just smiled and continued on and on about what kind of goods could be made with it.
Royce, who had been wandering around, came back. Same bored, angry expression on his face. Mine probably looked no better, due to the lady's reaction. I paid for what I had picked up, what she had suggested mostly. I nodded my head at Royce, a non-verbal way of telling him "let's go, I'm ready". He responded with a nod of his own. I gently brushed past him, my fingers barely touching his hand as I did so. No one would have been able to catch the gesture. If he wasn't such a strong man, he probably would have flinched at it. Instead, he delayed a few seconds before following after me. I grinned to myself, already feeling so warm on the inside as I thought about getting him to myself that evening.
Before I could finish the thought of how I'd treat Royce that evening, I felt his hand on the back of my neck, his other grabbing my arm and leading me quickly out of the broad view of the village and into one of the small, darker alleyways, conviently hidden from view unless you were trying to find it. "Emergency." His voice rather low as he had spoke, letting me go once in the cool darkness.
"What the he-" Before I could finish the question, I was cut off by his lips. This kiss a little rougher, more serious then the one I had placed on him eariler. I could taste a hint of his sweetness and wanted a little more of him, but he pulled away, grinning. I wanted to grin back, but I think it was crossed with a smile. My heart already beating a little faster. "What kind of emergency was that?"
"Hmm...." He said thoughtfully before nuzzling to me. I nuzzled back, enjoying the feeling of his scruff on my face. I felt him plant a soft kiss on my brow and smiled. "The kind where if I didn't touch you soon, I wouldn't have been able to control myself."
I set the bag I was holding down and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close so I could kiss him again. So soft.. And tenderly, wanting him to feel it. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer, returning the kiss, deepening it... I could never get tired of his sweet taste. I did pull back softly after a moment, my lips still brushing against his.
"I know the feeling..." I mumbled. He grinned, giving a slight laugh before he nuzzled me once again. I closed my eyes, smiling. Sometimes it was still hard to believe it was Royce standing there, making me feel so full of love I could burst.
Get your mission... Carry it out.... Be successful... Keep darkness from suceeding. Make sure good wins and evil loses. That whole overly done deal.
Generally you're allowed to bring a partner along, espically if it's a rather high class mission.... Well, if you're not assigned one.
I wondered if anyone would really pay much attention to the fact when it's optional, I almost always pick Royce... Or vice-versa.
Very typical "work" day.
Recieved the mission, stopped by Royce's room to drag him along... Not that I had ulterior motives. We get to our destination, relatively tame world, no need for the appearance changes. It hardly takes long to get to our mark and eliminate it. The sooner, the better. Generally a large area with no one around BUT the target is the best. We got lucky.
I managed to steal a kiss after we had finished. It couldn't be helped. Royce's face when he's fighting... He's so serious about it, and you can read it in his expressions. However, after stealing the kiss, his face turned bright red and he tried to mask that with his anger. I just grinned, letting my keyblade vanish and then started back towards the village.
Naturally, the market is the place I visit before leaving each world. It's probably one of the true reasons I still do this keyblading, destiny thing. I have better things that I could be doing.... Thankfully the one better thing is already here.
"This looks good...." I said to the lady behind the counter, picking up a strange looking orange fruit. She just smiled and continued on and on about what kind of goods could be made with it.
Royce, who had been wandering around, came back. Same bored, angry expression on his face. Mine probably looked no better, due to the lady's reaction. I paid for what I had picked up, what she had suggested mostly. I nodded my head at Royce, a non-verbal way of telling him "let's go, I'm ready". He responded with a nod of his own. I gently brushed past him, my fingers barely touching his hand as I did so. No one would have been able to catch the gesture. If he wasn't such a strong man, he probably would have flinched at it. Instead, he delayed a few seconds before following after me. I grinned to myself, already feeling so warm on the inside as I thought about getting him to myself that evening.
Before I could finish the thought of how I'd treat Royce that evening, I felt his hand on the back of my neck, his other grabbing my arm and leading me quickly out of the broad view of the village and into one of the small, darker alleyways, conviently hidden from view unless you were trying to find it. "Emergency." His voice rather low as he had spoke, letting me go once in the cool darkness.
"What the he-" Before I could finish the question, I was cut off by his lips. This kiss a little rougher, more serious then the one I had placed on him eariler. I could taste a hint of his sweetness and wanted a little more of him, but he pulled away, grinning. I wanted to grin back, but I think it was crossed with a smile. My heart already beating a little faster. "What kind of emergency was that?"
"Hmm...." He said thoughtfully before nuzzling to me. I nuzzled back, enjoying the feeling of his scruff on my face. I felt him plant a soft kiss on my brow and smiled. "The kind where if I didn't touch you soon, I wouldn't have been able to control myself."
I set the bag I was holding down and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close so I could kiss him again. So soft.. And tenderly, wanting him to feel it. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer, returning the kiss, deepening it... I could never get tired of his sweet taste. I did pull back softly after a moment, my lips still brushing against his.
"I know the feeling..." I mumbled. He grinned, giving a slight laugh before he nuzzled me once again. I closed my eyes, smiling. Sometimes it was still hard to believe it was Royce standing there, making me feel so full of love I could burst.
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Angry Words - XivksByx
Nov. 15th, 2008 | 06:08 am
mood: disappointed
"What the fuck happened to her Xivks?!" Byxirantt's voice rang out as she grabbed the blond in the hallway. Grabbing his shirt, she jerked Xivks against the wall. Xivks gave her a slightly defeated look, but grabbed her hands, pushing them away from his shirt.
"Don't start with me Byxirantt." He said with a slight growl. Byx's brows furrowed as she took her hands back.
"Like I'm scared of you. What the fuck happened to her Xivks? Was she on a mission or what?"
"She went to a world without telling me...."
"And got hurt....?"
"Yes." Xivks frowned down at the shorter Nobody. He honestly didn't want to hear this right now. It's not as if he didn't feel like a failure already, but to have Byx come and rub this in his face...
"Some boyfriend you are." Byx growled slightly now, her fist clinched at her sides. She didn't know why, but when she had peeked in to see if Lylhox had wanted some cookies, seeing her all bandaged up and sleeping just made her blood boil. "You're suppose to keep things like that from happening to her. What the fuck good are you?" She knew.... It wasn't his fault. Lyl did like to go off, do things by herself... But he really could be doing a better job of watching over her. Wasn't he worried that she could leave and never come back? The thought of it made her bristle.
"What?!" Xivks blinked at Byx after the last sentence left her mouth. Did she.... Was she really going to.... He narrowed his eye at her. "Don't you dare start that with me. I know what my duty to her is Byxirantt, and I do my damnest everytime I can. She wanted to leave, so she left. She's a big girl and can normally handle herself. She's not leaving without me again. She knows this."
"You shouldn't have been letting her go so unprotected anyway!" Byx raised her voice a little as she threw her arms into the air. She was pushing her other thoughts back, supressing them. She knew this arguement wasn't really about this... Was it? "Fuckin' christ Xivks. Lylhox means everything to you and you let her drag herself home like that? If you love-"
"IF?!" Xivks cut the purple explosion off, catching her slightly offguard. She went to speak again but Xivks waved his hand at her and started before she could. "Don't you EVER doubt my love for Lylhox Byxirantt. Just because you seem to like to establish relationships with whores... And don't you dare tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. I've heard about Chix and Nor and Kemix from your own mouth. I don't want your excuses. What the hell do you even know about love?" Xivks sneered at her, now his blood was boiling, and he was suddenly losing his ability to filter the words coming from his mouth. Seeing Byx flinch slightly at his words just egged that right on. "Chix fucked you then couldn't keep it in her pants.... What kind of love is that? I'm so sure she'd stick her neck out to keep you from getting hurt.. And Nor. Wasn't he the one that fucked around on his-" He paused to give a cold laugh. "Boyfriend? Then when it came to you, he didn't even want to touch you? Yeah. Your record is stunning so far Byxirantt." He gave her the 'OK' hand gesture.
Byx felt the color drain from her face as he started and couldn't help but feel he was right about all the harsh things he was saying. Why the hell was she standing there listening though....? She gritted her teeth, her tongue rings clicking against them angrily. Her fist were still clinched at her sides, small blood trails trickling down her fingers where her nails were dug into the palms of her hands.
"And Kemix. Oh boy. He's by far my favorite. I hear such special things about him." He watched as Byx just went stiff, her eyes starting to glow faintly as she glared up at him. Now that was a nerve he just hit. He pushed the shorter Nobody back into the wall and rested his hand by her head, leaning down so he could look her in the eyes as he spoke. "You can't win for losing can you Byxie sweetheart? He loves you, but... Of course, he loves them too. How many are there again? Five or six right.?"
Byx let herself go slightly limp against the wall, never taking her eyes from Xivks face. She had never seen him like this before... Then again, she brought it out of him. Her ears lowered as he continued to speak, her nails digging into her palms more, making it feel numb. She wanted to tell him to fuck off, but she couldn't speak.
"But that's right, you aren't one of his little harem. You're just his friend aren't cha? The best friend that he gets to fuck and just... Do whatever with until one of his lover's call. But you know that don't you? You want to lecture me about my love life now Byxirantt? At least I can commit to the girl I love, you can't even seem to get that. Poor, pitiful Byxie."
It was almost like instinct. She took so much of it before she felt herself snap and her hand moved on it's on. There was a loud cracking sound, then a heavy thud. Byx looked at her red and slightly bloody knuckles before looking at the ground, where Xivks now sat. His lip busted and bleeding and his jaw already starting to bruise. She growled, feeling hot tears as his words repeated in her head. Xivks sat up, opening and closing his mouth, trying to figure out what had happened. He looked up at Byxirantt, that dangerous glow about her now. It was then he realised that he might have gone a little too far.
"Fuck you Xivks." She had managed to breathe out. Her still raised fist was shaking. The hurt she was feeling from his words, now turning into a familiar feeling.... Anger. "Thank you for reminding me of all the bullshit I went through. Thanks for reminding me that I'm not good enough, I hope you fuckin' feel better." She pushed herself from the wall and walked around him, fist at her sides now. "Go and fuckin' take care of Lylhox before I kill you." Her tone cold and flat.
He watched her as she walked by, slowly getting to his feet. Once to his feet, he started walking, knowing she was more then likely serious about killing him. Yeah, he went too far with that one. He rubbed his jaw, wishing that was the only kind of hurt he was feeling at the moment. That sick, twisting knot in his stomach wasn't too pleasant. He'd have to apologize to her later...
"Don't start with me Byxirantt." He said with a slight growl. Byx's brows furrowed as she took her hands back.
"Like I'm scared of you. What the fuck happened to her Xivks? Was she on a mission or what?"
"She went to a world without telling me...."
"And got hurt....?"
"Yes." Xivks frowned down at the shorter Nobody. He honestly didn't want to hear this right now. It's not as if he didn't feel like a failure already, but to have Byx come and rub this in his face...
"Some boyfriend you are." Byx growled slightly now, her fist clinched at her sides. She didn't know why, but when she had peeked in to see if Lylhox had wanted some cookies, seeing her all bandaged up and sleeping just made her blood boil. "You're suppose to keep things like that from happening to her. What the fuck good are you?" She knew.... It wasn't his fault. Lyl did like to go off, do things by herself... But he really could be doing a better job of watching over her. Wasn't he worried that she could leave and never come back? The thought of it made her bristle.
"What?!" Xivks blinked at Byx after the last sentence left her mouth. Did she.... Was she really going to.... He narrowed his eye at her. "Don't you dare start that with me. I know what my duty to her is Byxirantt, and I do my damnest everytime I can. She wanted to leave, so she left. She's a big girl and can normally handle herself. She's not leaving without me again. She knows this."
"You shouldn't have been letting her go so unprotected anyway!" Byx raised her voice a little as she threw her arms into the air. She was pushing her other thoughts back, supressing them. She knew this arguement wasn't really about this... Was it? "Fuckin' christ Xivks. Lylhox means everything to you and you let her drag herself home like that? If you love-"
"IF?!" Xivks cut the purple explosion off, catching her slightly offguard. She went to speak again but Xivks waved his hand at her and started before she could. "Don't you EVER doubt my love for Lylhox Byxirantt. Just because you seem to like to establish relationships with whores... And don't you dare tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. I've heard about Chix and Nor and Kemix from your own mouth. I don't want your excuses. What the hell do you even know about love?" Xivks sneered at her, now his blood was boiling, and he was suddenly losing his ability to filter the words coming from his mouth. Seeing Byx flinch slightly at his words just egged that right on. "Chix fucked you then couldn't keep it in her pants.... What kind of love is that? I'm so sure she'd stick her neck out to keep you from getting hurt.. And Nor. Wasn't he the one that fucked around on his-" He paused to give a cold laugh. "Boyfriend? Then when it came to you, he didn't even want to touch you? Yeah. Your record is stunning so far Byxirantt." He gave her the 'OK' hand gesture.
Byx felt the color drain from her face as he started and couldn't help but feel he was right about all the harsh things he was saying. Why the hell was she standing there listening though....? She gritted her teeth, her tongue rings clicking against them angrily. Her fist were still clinched at her sides, small blood trails trickling down her fingers where her nails were dug into the palms of her hands.
"And Kemix. Oh boy. He's by far my favorite. I hear such special things about him." He watched as Byx just went stiff, her eyes starting to glow faintly as she glared up at him. Now that was a nerve he just hit. He pushed the shorter Nobody back into the wall and rested his hand by her head, leaning down so he could look her in the eyes as he spoke. "You can't win for losing can you Byxie sweetheart? He loves you, but... Of course, he loves them too. How many are there again? Five or six right.?"
Byx let herself go slightly limp against the wall, never taking her eyes from Xivks face. She had never seen him like this before... Then again, she brought it out of him. Her ears lowered as he continued to speak, her nails digging into her palms more, making it feel numb. She wanted to tell him to fuck off, but she couldn't speak.
"But that's right, you aren't one of his little harem. You're just his friend aren't cha? The best friend that he gets to fuck and just... Do whatever with until one of his lover's call. But you know that don't you? You want to lecture me about my love life now Byxirantt? At least I can commit to the girl I love, you can't even seem to get that. Poor, pitiful Byxie."
It was almost like instinct. She took so much of it before she felt herself snap and her hand moved on it's on. There was a loud cracking sound, then a heavy thud. Byx looked at her red and slightly bloody knuckles before looking at the ground, where Xivks now sat. His lip busted and bleeding and his jaw already starting to bruise. She growled, feeling hot tears as his words repeated in her head. Xivks sat up, opening and closing his mouth, trying to figure out what had happened. He looked up at Byxirantt, that dangerous glow about her now. It was then he realised that he might have gone a little too far.
"Fuck you Xivks." She had managed to breathe out. Her still raised fist was shaking. The hurt she was feeling from his words, now turning into a familiar feeling.... Anger. "Thank you for reminding me of all the bullshit I went through. Thanks for reminding me that I'm not good enough, I hope you fuckin' feel better." She pushed herself from the wall and walked around him, fist at her sides now. "Go and fuckin' take care of Lylhox before I kill you." Her tone cold and flat.
He watched her as she walked by, slowly getting to his feet. Once to his feet, he started walking, knowing she was more then likely serious about killing him. Yeah, he went too far with that one. He rubbed his jaw, wishing that was the only kind of hurt he was feeling at the moment. That sick, twisting knot in his stomach wasn't too pleasant. He'd have to apologize to her later...
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Org-Infinity OLYMPUS TAKEOVER event / Team 8, part 1
Oct. 27th, 2008 | 11:39 pm
Xelcan, Byxirantt, Lixeou, Xcirl, Xycann and Raxen. Team eight, stood waiting. Waiting for the main team to give the signal to go. Their orders had been made clear. They were after the God of Gods.
King of the Gods, wielder of lightning bolts, bearer of the impenetrable Aegis, and shameless flirt. He hasn’t had too much to challenge his rule since Hercules thwarted Hades all those years back, but we’re about to change all that. Knock the king from his throne and make way for the new Greece.
Knock the God from his throne? Not a problem. They'd spent weeks preparing and planning out their attack, and they actually had a pretty decent team. Decent team, favorable elements. They had the power within the team to knock Zeus on his ass. Everything should flow smoothly. The ruler of the Gods won't know what hit him.
"And remember..." Xelcan said as he looked around at his team, pulling his hood on. "If we follow the plan as closely as we can, Zeus will be in the Underworld before the others can finish their own fights. I'm counting on you five."
"Right...." Byx grumbled, pulling the hood from her coat down as she cast glares towards the others. "Everyone just do your damn parts like you were told. If you think you can't handle it, you should leave now before you fuck up and cause one of us to die. Dying because of one of your stupid mistakes doesn't sound very appealing."
"Alright Byxirantt. Down girl." Xelcan rolled his eyes, waving a closed fan at the woman. "That's enough."
"Byxie, relax." Xcirl smiled, moving between Xelcan and the shorter female, noticing Byx's fuse had begun to grow shorter at Xelcan's comment.
"Don't call me that." Byx growled faintly. Xcirl had moved to put an arm around the purple explosion, wishing the female would lighten up, but the look she cut him made him change his mind and he let his arm rest back at his side.
"Everyone's capable of what their task is. Right guys?" He grinned over his shoulder. Raxen and Xycann gave a slight shrug, Lixeou nodded.
"Right. No worries." The sticky bazooker replied, giving the three before her a slight salute. "We've got it."
"You'd better." Byx growled slightly before moving away from the group. Her ears turned upwards as she was waiting for the signal to be given. Xcirl rubbed his neck, watching her and Xelcan just gave a sigh. No point in trying to get her to perk up. Instead, he turned his attention back to the rest of the team.
"I know we just went over it, so you do remember your duties, right?" Xelcan asked, crossing his arms over his chest and arching a slight brow.
"Yes sir." Xycann and Lixeou said in unison, then looked at each other. Xycann snickered and Lixeou just smiled, shaking her head.
"Mmhmm." Raxen mumbled his reply boredly. Xcirl glanced over his team mates, before looking to Xelcan and smiling.
"But of course sir. I remember we start with-"
"The signal!" Xcirl was cut off by Byxirantt, who's tone sounded mildly excited. Everyone looked her way, somewhat startled. Byx's ears twitched as she heard the loud noises of the battle beginning to sound. "Let's go!" Her hands had begun to glow faintly as she pulled her hood back on and dashed off.
"Finally." Raxen said, taking off after her. Xycann, following him without a word, Xelcan and Lixeou behind her. Xcirl stood there for a few seconds and gave a sigh. Everyone was so gung-ho.... Grinning, he figured he'd better catch up before he got left out of the fun. He dashed after the rest of the team, now making their way to the top of Mount Olympus.
Zeus had been startled by it all. The attack had started so suddenly, and without warning. There was a loud, crashing sound and then it just seemed like all the Underworld had just broken loose.
<i>What the hell was going on in his kingdom? Why hadn't Hermes warned them of any oncoming danger?!</i> He had ran to the edge of his high throne room and frowned at what he saw going on below him. Black hooded figures everywhere. Those damn Nobodies. They weren't going to get away with this.
"Hephaestus! I NEED LIGHTNING!" He roared loudly. He needed them as quickly as possible. He needed to help the others. He could hear shouts and cries from all over. "HEPHAESTUS!" He yelled as he ran back to the other side of the throne room, towards the stairs. Why wasn't Hephaestus responding eith-
"Zeus! Ruler of the Gods!"
Zeus stopped, his thoughts suddenly interrupted by the strange voice calling his name. There standing at the top of the stairs was a Nobody. What the....?
Xycann stood at the top of the stairs, holding onto her choker charm. Her yang half taking over and doing precisely what she needed for it to do. She pulled her hood down and gave Zeus the sweetest possible smile she could muster. While Zeus stood staring at her, somewhat lost and clueless about the lone Nobody, she gave a signal for Raxen to go.
King of the Gods, wielder of lightning bolts, bearer of the impenetrable Aegis, and shameless flirt. He hasn’t had too much to challenge his rule since Hercules thwarted Hades all those years back, but we’re about to change all that. Knock the king from his throne and make way for the new Greece.
Knock the God from his throne? Not a problem. They'd spent weeks preparing and planning out their attack, and they actually had a pretty decent team. Decent team, favorable elements. They had the power within the team to knock Zeus on his ass. Everything should flow smoothly. The ruler of the Gods won't know what hit him.
"And remember..." Xelcan said as he looked around at his team, pulling his hood on. "If we follow the plan as closely as we can, Zeus will be in the Underworld before the others can finish their own fights. I'm counting on you five."
"Right...." Byx grumbled, pulling the hood from her coat down as she cast glares towards the others. "Everyone just do your damn parts like you were told. If you think you can't handle it, you should leave now before you fuck up and cause one of us to die. Dying because of one of your stupid mistakes doesn't sound very appealing."
"Alright Byxirantt. Down girl." Xelcan rolled his eyes, waving a closed fan at the woman. "That's enough."
"Byxie, relax." Xcirl smiled, moving between Xelcan and the shorter female, noticing Byx's fuse had begun to grow shorter at Xelcan's comment.
"Don't call me that." Byx growled faintly. Xcirl had moved to put an arm around the purple explosion, wishing the female would lighten up, but the look she cut him made him change his mind and he let his arm rest back at his side.
"Everyone's capable of what their task is. Right guys?" He grinned over his shoulder. Raxen and Xycann gave a slight shrug, Lixeou nodded.
"Right. No worries." The sticky bazooker replied, giving the three before her a slight salute. "We've got it."
"You'd better." Byx growled slightly before moving away from the group. Her ears turned upwards as she was waiting for the signal to be given. Xcirl rubbed his neck, watching her and Xelcan just gave a sigh. No point in trying to get her to perk up. Instead, he turned his attention back to the rest of the team.
"I know we just went over it, so you do remember your duties, right?" Xelcan asked, crossing his arms over his chest and arching a slight brow.
"Yes sir." Xycann and Lixeou said in unison, then looked at each other. Xycann snickered and Lixeou just smiled, shaking her head.
"Mmhmm." Raxen mumbled his reply boredly. Xcirl glanced over his team mates, before looking to Xelcan and smiling.
"But of course sir. I remember we start with-"
"The signal!" Xcirl was cut off by Byxirantt, who's tone sounded mildly excited. Everyone looked her way, somewhat startled. Byx's ears twitched as she heard the loud noises of the battle beginning to sound. "Let's go!" Her hands had begun to glow faintly as she pulled her hood back on and dashed off.
"Finally." Raxen said, taking off after her. Xycann, following him without a word, Xelcan and Lixeou behind her. Xcirl stood there for a few seconds and gave a sigh. Everyone was so gung-ho.... Grinning, he figured he'd better catch up before he got left out of the fun. He dashed after the rest of the team, now making their way to the top of Mount Olympus.
Zeus had been startled by it all. The attack had started so suddenly, and without warning. There was a loud, crashing sound and then it just seemed like all the Underworld had just broken loose.
<i>What the hell was going on in his kingdom? Why hadn't Hermes warned them of any oncoming danger?!</i> He had ran to the edge of his high throne room and frowned at what he saw going on below him. Black hooded figures everywhere. Those damn Nobodies. They weren't going to get away with this.
"Hephaestus! I NEED LIGHTNING!" He roared loudly. He needed them as quickly as possible. He needed to help the others. He could hear shouts and cries from all over. "HEPHAESTUS!" He yelled as he ran back to the other side of the throne room, towards the stairs. Why wasn't Hephaestus responding eith-
"Zeus! Ruler of the Gods!"
Zeus stopped, his thoughts suddenly interrupted by the strange voice calling his name. There standing at the top of the stairs was a Nobody. What the....?
Xycann stood at the top of the stairs, holding onto her choker charm. Her yang half taking over and doing precisely what she needed for it to do. She pulled her hood down and gave Zeus the sweetest possible smile she could muster. While Zeus stood staring at her, somewhat lost and clueless about the lone Nobody, she gave a signal for Raxen to go.
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Just Raven stuff.... |D
Oct. 25th, 2008 | 12:06 am
mood: 
mellow
He had gone..... Leaving Raven with nothing. How could he just vanish like that? Didn't they have a bond? Wasn't there something special between them?
Jun.
Apparently.... This was the end of their forever. Sad, how he wasn't even able to say goodbye. Sad, how he found himself unable to entirely mourn. His heart felt broken... The stitches coming undone from the previous wounds it had suffered. On the inside, he was burning, on the outside, as calm and normal as could be. Everything seemed fine.
It was time to mend another heart break. How many more of these would he have to endure before he was finally able to be happy? And to actually stay happy for once?
Jun's dissappearance left room for a truce between Royce and himself. Though, Raven didn't quite understand why Royce was so determined to take Jun from him in the first place, he didn't judge the man. Even when he became verbally and physically aggressive, he still did not judge him, though he would tend to make his temper worse.
Royce was of a lonely nature. Jun was of a sweet and kind one. It only made sense. Royce seemed to love Jun. It was apparent in some of his actions. He'd seen the way Royce would get offensive on the topic. It wasn't so hard to put two and two together.
Jun told him of the kisses he and Royce shared, and still, he couldn't judge him. He did feel pained and angered, somewhat betrayed. Why would someone who knew about the relationship take it upon himself to try and come between it?
Loneliness was a sad... Sad thing.
Faced with Royce, hearing the words from his own mouth, he still couldn't bring himself to judge... Or even hate the man. Instead, he wanted a resolution. He wanted to stop the fighting that always seemed to happen between the two and attempt a friendship. They were team mates after all.
Flirting. Royce did dare to flirt with him. Raven merely shrugged it off. Royce just wanted a fuck, that was it. He wasn't going to cave under the man. He didn't want another man. Hell, at that point, he wanted no one.
He didn't just throw around sex as a casual hello. It was intimate, special.... Not just the desire to spread one's seeds. It could be much, much deeper. It was a shame how some people seemed to take such connections for granted and threw themselves around.
The next time, he flirted again. I don't know what came over me. It suddenly felt as if nothing else seemed to matter, but to catch his attention... And to keep it. I left myself go and caught him offguard. His flustered face and stuttering voice... It was all I needed to see and hear. I decided at that point, no matter what, I wanted that man. He indeed had made a mistake being nice to me. A bigger mistake flirting with me. He opened himself, showing me that he wasn't all bared fangs.
I wanted to know what he looked like when he smiled. When he actually smiled. I wanted to be the reason behind that smile.
/ * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * /
Raven nuzzled under Royce's chin, actually enjoying the feeling of the other man's facial hair against his skin. It was rather soft. Considering he'd never thought of being with another guy before Jun, he found most of the things that made Royce a man appealing. He found himself wanting to just touch Royce's face, brushing his fingers through the scruff. He wanted to rest his hands on Royce's broad, strong shoulders, or just run his hands down the man's nicely toned chest.... Let his fingers brush across the man's stomach, those abs.... Tease the hair with his fingertips that peeked out from the top of his pants. Let his hands stray down Royce's
He couldn't quite understand why he found these things attractive, but he did. Feeling Royce's strong arms wrapping around his waist, he let out a low purr which mixed with a soft growl. He nipped tenderly at the blonde's adam apple, earning a faint moan from his.
The noises Royce would make. They were just amazing. He'd never figured such sounds would come out of the blonde, and it was a treat indeed.
Royce's body pressed against his, it was un-natural, but he couldn't help but to respond to him. Pressing closer to him, wanting to feel the blonde completely against him. Raven craved the closeness, the warmth of Royce's flesh. He wanted to indulge and be indulged.
He heard Royce growl faintly, his hips starting to grind against the other's. Raven could feel Royce through his pants, his own pants becoming increasingly tight, the erection growing beneath. His purr was deep as he responded against Royce, hips moving with the man's.
He didn't want to be scared to let Royce inside him, but he somewhat was. He'd been trying so hard to get Royce to not get scared and run off. What if Royce did after Raven let him fuck him? Connect with him so deeply, then run again. Of course he'd go after Royce... But.... It would still hurt. He didn't want to regret anything with Royce.
The blonde began to growl possesively into Raven's ear, his hands having a tight hold on the dark haired man. Raven closed his eyes, the sound of Royce growling sending shivers up his spine. He wanted Royce.... So bad....
/ * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * /
Jun.
Apparently.... This was the end of their forever. Sad, how he wasn't even able to say goodbye. Sad, how he found himself unable to entirely mourn. His heart felt broken... The stitches coming undone from the previous wounds it had suffered. On the inside, he was burning, on the outside, as calm and normal as could be. Everything seemed fine.
It was time to mend another heart break. How many more of these would he have to endure before he was finally able to be happy? And to actually stay happy for once?
Jun's dissappearance left room for a truce between Royce and himself. Though, Raven didn't quite understand why Royce was so determined to take Jun from him in the first place, he didn't judge the man. Even when he became verbally and physically aggressive, he still did not judge him, though he would tend to make his temper worse.
Royce was of a lonely nature. Jun was of a sweet and kind one. It only made sense. Royce seemed to love Jun. It was apparent in some of his actions. He'd seen the way Royce would get offensive on the topic. It wasn't so hard to put two and two together.
Jun told him of the kisses he and Royce shared, and still, he couldn't judge him. He did feel pained and angered, somewhat betrayed. Why would someone who knew about the relationship take it upon himself to try and come between it?
Loneliness was a sad... Sad thing.
Faced with Royce, hearing the words from his own mouth, he still couldn't bring himself to judge... Or even hate the man. Instead, he wanted a resolution. He wanted to stop the fighting that always seemed to happen between the two and attempt a friendship. They were team mates after all.
Flirting. Royce did dare to flirt with him. Raven merely shrugged it off. Royce just wanted a fuck, that was it. He wasn't going to cave under the man. He didn't want another man. Hell, at that point, he wanted no one.
He didn't just throw around sex as a casual hello. It was intimate, special.... Not just the desire to spread one's seeds. It could be much, much deeper. It was a shame how some people seemed to take such connections for granted and threw themselves around.
The next time, he flirted again. I don't know what came over me. It suddenly felt as if nothing else seemed to matter, but to catch his attention... And to keep it. I left myself go and caught him offguard. His flustered face and stuttering voice... It was all I needed to see and hear. I decided at that point, no matter what, I wanted that man. He indeed had made a mistake being nice to me. A bigger mistake flirting with me. He opened himself, showing me that he wasn't all bared fangs.
I wanted to know what he looked like when he smiled. When he actually smiled. I wanted to be the reason behind that smile.
/ * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * /
Raven nuzzled under Royce's chin, actually enjoying the feeling of the other man's facial hair against his skin. It was rather soft. Considering he'd never thought of being with another guy before Jun, he found most of the things that made Royce a man appealing. He found himself wanting to just touch Royce's face, brushing his fingers through the scruff. He wanted to rest his hands on Royce's broad, strong shoulders, or just run his hands down the man's nicely toned chest.... Let his fingers brush across the man's stomach, those abs.... Tease the hair with his fingertips that peeked out from the top of his pants. Let his hands stray down Royce's
He couldn't quite understand why he found these things attractive, but he did. Feeling Royce's strong arms wrapping around his waist, he let out a low purr which mixed with a soft growl. He nipped tenderly at the blonde's adam apple, earning a faint moan from his.
The noises Royce would make. They were just amazing. He'd never figured such sounds would come out of the blonde, and it was a treat indeed.
Royce's body pressed against his, it was un-natural, but he couldn't help but to respond to him. Pressing closer to him, wanting to feel the blonde completely against him. Raven craved the closeness, the warmth of Royce's flesh. He wanted to indulge and be indulged.
He heard Royce growl faintly, his hips starting to grind against the other's. Raven could feel Royce through his pants, his own pants becoming increasingly tight, the erection growing beneath. His purr was deep as he responded against Royce, hips moving with the man's.
He didn't want to be scared to let Royce inside him, but he somewhat was. He'd been trying so hard to get Royce to not get scared and run off. What if Royce did after Raven let him fuck him? Connect with him so deeply, then run again. Of course he'd go after Royce... But.... It would still hurt. He didn't want to regret anything with Royce.
The blonde began to growl possesively into Raven's ear, his hands having a tight hold on the dark haired man. Raven closed his eyes, the sound of Royce growling sending shivers up his spine. He wanted Royce.... So bad....
/ * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * / * /
Royce was so cute when he slept. Even cuter when he was completely wrapped in all the covers on the bed. Raven had woken up, feeling a little chilly and soon found the reason why. He just gave a slight laugh and moved over, peering over at Royce. He looked so cute and innocent. A few Raven knew he possessed, he'd just never been able to see it.
"Siete così sveglio." You are so cute. He whispered into Royce's ear as he brushed the hair from his face gently. The man made a soft grumbling noise, but did not wake. Raven couldn't help but to smile, letting his fingers gently run through the blonde locks. He leaned down a little, lips brushing over Royce's ear.
"Lo voglio rimanere per sempre con me." I want you to stay with me forever. He whispered once again, his Italian accent thick as he spoke his mother's native language. His lips kissing Royce's ear softly. The man stirred slightly, pulling the covers closer to himself, but once again, did not wake. Raven shifted, moving closer to the sleeping Royce. He leaned over, now having a nice upside down view of the blonde's sleeping, angelic face. Royce had him deeply smitten, and he wasn't even aware of that fact.
"Avete mio cuore, ma non conoscete questo, fate voi?" You have my heart, but you do not know this, do you? He gave a soft chuckle at his own choice of words, thankful Royce wasn't awake at the moment.. And even if he was, he wouldn't understand what he was being told. He closed his eyes, fingers playing in the blonde's hair. Royce needed this though... He did need someone to tell him these things. Of course, he'd probably run away again, shoving Raven away once more. He wasn't sure how much more of that game he could withstand before he lost it.
"Desidero che mi abbiate avuto fede Royce." I wish you would have faith in me Royce. His voice soft as he sat up a little, watching the man in his bed sleeping soundly. He brushed his hand gently over Royce's cheek, the man mumbling softly as he did so. Raven grinned, letting his finger tips graze Royce's skin as he leaned over. His lips brushing gently against Royce's before kissing the man softly.
"Ti amo." I love you. His lips softly kissing Royce's once again, causing the man to stir. Royce's eyes fluttered open as Raven sat up a little, smiling down at him. Reaching up, Royce brushed Raven's dark hair out of his face.
"What was that?" He said somewhat sleepily, shifting in his cover cacoon to sit up. Raven waited for him to get settled, straightening out the covers. The dark hair man smiled and leaned over, gently taking Royce's mouth with his own. Royce blinked before letting his hands run through Raven's hair, returning his kiss.
"Ti amo...." Raven mumbled against Royce's lips, his next words following the first. "I love you...."
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Why.....?
Oct. 24th, 2008 | 06:12 am
mood: discontent
(((( SO... No one gets confused or anything. This is more or less a rant writing.... |D;; I just used Byxie and a never ending topic for it. She needed to be put through a little mental distress anyway. It starts out as a dream/nitemare, then turns into her waking from it. So yeah. Enjoy... Or.. Something |3 ))))
I couldn't remember ever feeling so angry before. At least not at Kemix. He was trying to lay that guilt trip, pirty party on me. What the fuck have I done?! If anything, I should be the one guilt tripping him! All the bullshit, everything I've gone through.... All for him. Stupid fuck, I should be the one laying on the guilt trip pity party.Not that I'd have a right. I'm not suppose to fuckin' feel like this. I'm not suppose to have this deep greed. I'm not suppose to want him all to myself... But I did. I wanted to blow the other fuckers off the face of the castle. I've been fucked over so much, I just want something for me, to be selfish. I wanted him with me and me alone. Why do I have to settle and share? FUCK! I hated this stupid feeling.My insides felt like they were one fire. It was like lava was flowing through my veins. I was growling, gritting my teeth and clicking my tongue rings angrily. I could feel the scorching tears of anger welling up in my eyes. Kemix grabbed my shoulders, noticing my horrible state of being."Byx what's wrong?" His voice sounded so concerned, his brows furrowed in worry."Get the fuck off me!" I shouted, throwing my arms up to get him off me. "Don't you DARE ask me what the fuck is wrong!" I pointed at him accusingly. I was glowing. My hands were bright. I could feel my earrings becoming hot against my skin, same with the other rings in my body. My eyes, they had to be completely lost by the violent purple glow by now.
"Byx that the hell!?" He growled at me, narrowing his eyes.
"You think it's just find for you to come to me and whine and complain to me about those other fucktards that you love. I'm sick and tired of it Kemix! I am." My voice loud and growly. I honestly couldn't remember ever feeling this pissed off. "I know I'm your best friend... I know that's exactly what I told you! That's because I didn't want to be included with those other Nobodies you spend time with and fuck and do whatever the hell else it is you do. You can't be in a fuckin' relationship with them ALL! IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT!!"
"I can't fuckin' believe you Byx.... Of all the Nobodies in this place, I can't believe YOU would pull this shit on me." His ears lowered as he growled further and turned to walk away. Oh fuck that. He wasn't going to walk away from this.
"NO. You're not fuckin' leaving from this conversation." I dug my nails into his arm through his coat and jerked him back. "You're going to pay attention to me and actually LISTEN to me. I hate.. I HATE repeating myself. I bite my fuckin' tounge most of the time because I'm actually afraid of you walking away from me. I'm the one that's scared of you leaving me. You've walked away from me once before and I know you're fuckin' stubborn enough to do it again and I can't fuckin' handle that. Kemix I can't handle that. There's SO much that I pass over and don't do because of you... Because I love you." I wasn't going to give him time to counter me, he didn't need to justify himself, I've heard it all before. "DON'T fuckin' say anything dammit!" I growled in warning, jerking him once again. "You're so afraid of them leaving you, well you know what? They'll get bored with you and move the fuck on eventually. It's happened to me, it'll happen to you. And you've got more of them, like that was a fuckin' brilliant move. Save yourself the hurt? Fuck. If you put as much into all of them as you would in one person, you're fuckin' screwed Kemix. I know you Kemix, I know how tender you are, right now you're probably going to break under this, but I don't fuckin' care. You need to hear me!" I could in fact feel him caving under me. He was going to turn into that pathetic sack of Kemix... I could see it coming. I jerked him once again. "Ximon leaving you hurt, I know... It doesn't help that Ximon is... I don't know what the fuck he's trying to do with me and honestly, I can't return those feelings to Ximon. I can't. I actually DID want to try, but... I can't. Why should I? I love you. You know I love you. I have done and said so many things that should let you KNOW this. There is nothing, and I fuckin' mean nothing that would keep me from you Kemix." My hands moved from his coat to his face. The anger was still fleeting through my system and those stupid tears from it and the frustration were falling down my cheeks. I could barely make out Kemix's face. "Why Kemix... Why can't you just love me? Are my words.... My actions... My feelings.... My bed not enough for you...?"
I jolted up with a loud, painful cry. My chest was tight, and I could barely breathe. My body was shaking so badly and I realized I was sobbing. What the fuck was wrong with me!? Why do I have to fuckin' dream of that kind of shit?! I grabbed two large handfuls of my hair and pulled it as hard as I could, letting out a loud scream. My lungs burned and I couldn't scream as loud I wanted. My nails dug deep into my scalp as I kept screaming.
Why did I do this to myself? Why the hell did I have to dream things like that? It was so vivid and so scary... I mean, I did feel that way sometimes, but... It was nothing serious. I got over it. I knew the deal. I KNOW THE DEAL. I knew the deal before I ever became involved with Kemix. This was just my stupid, selfish side showing. The side that believed in one person, one love... One pair. Why the fuck can't I make my subconscious realize that? Why can't it realize that I'm actually fine and happy with Kemix like this? He loves me, and just because he loves them too means nothing. He loves me too. I'm his best friend...
I inhaled sharply, only to lose it by sobbing again, almost hysterically. I let go of my head so I could hug myself, digging my nails deep into the tender flesh of my upper arms.
I didn't like this dream. I don't want to be her. It's just too cruel to be that person. That person who knew everything about Kemix and still wanted to keep him chained. I'm so horrible, what does he even see in me?
I felt my stomach lurched foward, I was going to be sick. I pressed a hand to my mouth and scrambled out of my bed, nearly stumbling and falling several times before I made it to the bathroom. I fell to my knees and jerked the toilet seats up before I proceeded to lose last night's dinner into the porcelin. When I was finished, I wiped my mouth and slowly lowered myself to the floor. I was sobbing once again. I felt so fuckin' helpless... And pathetic... And just pointless. That dream.... It was fucking with me. I could never do anything like that... Or say anything like that to Kemix. He'd hate me.
"I don't want him to hate me." I sobbed before resting my hand over my face. My body trembling as I curled up on the floor. I'd rather lay right here and die then have to face that. I can't tell anyone about the dream... They'll just remind me how stupid I am for ever getting mixed up with him in the first place, and how I deserve to be like this. Fuck them. I love Kemix and nothing'll change that... I just wish I wasn't so selfish and pathetic about it all.
I'm not them. I'll never be them...
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Brotherly Conversation ( Raven and Drayfus )
Oct. 13th, 2008 | 04:41 pm
"Yo, Rave!"
"I told you not to call me that. I'm not a crazy glow stick and drug party thank you." Raven frowned up at his elder brother. He rubbed at his cheek with his arm, only smearing more flour there. His hair was pulled back sloppily. Just enough to keep it out of his face and off his shoulders while he was working with the food. He'd been busy working in the bakery today, taking his father's place while he was out sick. Drayfus merely smirked and grabbed an apron off the hook before walking over to the small bathroom to pull his hair back and wash his hands. Raven rolled his eyes. Great. Just what he needed. Twenty-one questions with his brother.
"Ma told me you were here working. ... And I told you I'd cover pop's shift. Shouldn't you be doing something with your keyblader friends.... Or Jun? Or was he your only keyblader friend?" Drayfus asked as he came back out, drying his hands off, smirking once again. Raven merely snorted and went back to kneading his dough. Dray frowned slightly and walked over, spreading a little more flour on the table for Raven. "Something happen?"
"Everything's peachy." Raven said in that blank, cold tone of his. Dray merely arched a brow, tossing a little flour at his brother. "HEY!" Raven growled as he stepped back, watching the small flour cloud dissapate before him. "I said everything's peachy. Now drop it."
"Yeah. You and I both know that's not going to happen." Drayfus said cheerfully.
"I could always hope.... And I don't feel like fighting or arguing with you today."
"Hey, you're the one that fights and argue with me."
"You're the smartass that can't keep his nose in his own business."
"That's because, reguardless of what you think...." Dray had started before moving over to the large oven, checking on the bread that was currently baking in there. "I actually care about my baby brother and his business."
"Right. I'm sure you're so concerned with the way everything's going."
"Like you ever let me know what's going on either way." Drayfus grabbed some of the dough for the large mixing bowl and began to knead it on the table. "Last thing I heard about you was that you'd been a little busy with that keyblading place or whatever it is." He waved a dough covered hand at Raven, who was merely involved with his own lump of it. "And.... I haven't seen Jun around here lately."
"Yeah well..... I wasn't aware you were stalking my apartment." Raven glanced up, frowning. Drayfus let out an exasperated sigh and just slumped.
"You know what I ment."
"Jun hasn't been around lately because he hasn't wanted to be." Raven said in a quieter tone as he divided up the dough and placed the sections in small bread tins. "Jun has moved on." Blank once more. Dray frowned.
"Really? That's horrible."
"Not really." Raven shrugged his shoulders and gathered the tins in his arms. He moved over to the oven and opened the door, setting them inside.
"Not really?" Dray blinked as he watched Raven. He had expected a little more then that... After all, his brother wasn't all that lucky when it came to relationships. He arched a brow. "Something's up."
"Eh....." Raven shut the oven door and looked over at Drayfus. "Another guy."
"ANOTHER guy?" This time he sounded more surprised, even his mouth gapped a little.
"Yes." Raven frowned, feeling slightly irritated at his brother's response. "Another guy. My feelings are suddenly gender-less now." Wiping his hands on his apron, he moved to the stovetop, stirring a few dark mixtures in the several pots that sat simmering there. Drayfus still looked somewhat astounded. He moved from his dough to the stove, where he could loom over Raven.
"Do tell."
"There's nothing to tell other then that this guy doesn't know what the hell he wants. First he likes me, next he's yelling at me and telling me I have problems." Raven snorted slightly. "Pot calling the kettle black." He grumbled as he moved from the stove. "He just wanted to fuck me at first."
"Did y-"
"No. Stupid question Drayfus." Raven glared back at his brother who just grinned innocently in response. Shaking his head, Raven sighed deeply and grabbed a container. "Not entirely sure I want to at this point. The idea of being the bitch isn't quite appealing. And why the fuck should I?" He was frowning now. "He'll just fuck me then run the fuck away."
"And that bothers you why?"
"I guess because I like him." It was a defeated sigh as Raven rubbed the back of his neck, looking up at the ceiling. Drayfus remained leaning back against the counter, watching his 'little' brother. "He's the guy that was trying to take Jun away from me and always wanted to break my neck."
"Raven... What the fuck?" Again, Drayfus sounded somewhat surprised, though, he didn't look happy about this one. Raven raised a hand to Drayfus and closed his eyes, shaking his head slightly.
"I talked him into having a decent conversation... And to stop being a dickhead towards me. No point in being childish when we're adults."
"Amen to that." Dray said with a snort.
"And well.... I dunno. I mean, he flirted with me the first time and I just shrugged it off. He didn't interest me, even if he did turn out to be somewhat decent and nice. I thought it'd be a nice friendship at the very least." He held up two fingers. "Next conversation was a little different. He was flirting again... And I /KNEW/ what he wanted, but I wanted to see how far I could go... Though. I felt bad because of Jun but... I don't think he's going to come back." Raven looked at Drayfus who was just listening. "Right. So..... I flirted back and was... Very much myself. He didn't seem to know how to handle that then and started to blush and well.... For some reason, I was just hooked."
"Mmhmm...."
"Don't give me that.... I don't understand it myself. All I know is that I want him."
"It's funny hearing you say you want a guy."
"Shut the fuck up Drayfus... There's nothing funny about it."
"I didn't mean like that." Dray sighed, letting his head fall to the side.
"I know what you ment.... And I ment what I said. Dammit Drayfus. Why does it all slip through my fingers?" Raven said as he looked down at his flour and dough covered hands. "I just want to find someone and be able to love them til I die."
"Because.... I guess it just means it's preparing you for something better." Drayfus shrugged his shoulders slightly, resting his hands on top of his head. "And I think we all do Raven."
"I want Royce to be that someone though... Everything just... It feels right and in place with him."
"Then don't give up on him."
"I hadn't planned on it." Raven gave a slight grin. "Only way I'm giving up is if I'm dead."
"And we know you're too stubborn to die."
"Damn straight."
"I told you not to call me that. I'm not a crazy glow stick and drug party thank you." Raven frowned up at his elder brother. He rubbed at his cheek with his arm, only smearing more flour there. His hair was pulled back sloppily. Just enough to keep it out of his face and off his shoulders while he was working with the food. He'd been busy working in the bakery today, taking his father's place while he was out sick. Drayfus merely smirked and grabbed an apron off the hook before walking over to the small bathroom to pull his hair back and wash his hands. Raven rolled his eyes. Great. Just what he needed. Twenty-one questions with his brother.
"Ma told me you were here working. ... And I told you I'd cover pop's shift. Shouldn't you be doing something with your keyblader friends.... Or Jun? Or was he your only keyblader friend?" Drayfus asked as he came back out, drying his hands off, smirking once again. Raven merely snorted and went back to kneading his dough. Dray frowned slightly and walked over, spreading a little more flour on the table for Raven. "Something happen?"
"Everything's peachy." Raven said in that blank, cold tone of his. Dray merely arched a brow, tossing a little flour at his brother. "HEY!" Raven growled as he stepped back, watching the small flour cloud dissapate before him. "I said everything's peachy. Now drop it."
"Yeah. You and I both know that's not going to happen." Drayfus said cheerfully.
"I could always hope.... And I don't feel like fighting or arguing with you today."
"Hey, you're the one that fights and argue with me."
"You're the smartass that can't keep his nose in his own business."
"That's because, reguardless of what you think...." Dray had started before moving over to the large oven, checking on the bread that was currently baking in there. "I actually care about my baby brother and his business."
"Right. I'm sure you're so concerned with the way everything's going."
"Like you ever let me know what's going on either way." Drayfus grabbed some of the dough for the large mixing bowl and began to knead it on the table. "Last thing I heard about you was that you'd been a little busy with that keyblading place or whatever it is." He waved a dough covered hand at Raven, who was merely involved with his own lump of it. "And.... I haven't seen Jun around here lately."
"Yeah well..... I wasn't aware you were stalking my apartment." Raven glanced up, frowning. Drayfus let out an exasperated sigh and just slumped.
"You know what I ment."
"Jun hasn't been around lately because he hasn't wanted to be." Raven said in a quieter tone as he divided up the dough and placed the sections in small bread tins. "Jun has moved on." Blank once more. Dray frowned.
"Really? That's horrible."
"Not really." Raven shrugged his shoulders and gathered the tins in his arms. He moved over to the oven and opened the door, setting them inside.
"Not really?" Dray blinked as he watched Raven. He had expected a little more then that... After all, his brother wasn't all that lucky when it came to relationships. He arched a brow. "Something's up."
"Eh....." Raven shut the oven door and looked over at Drayfus. "Another guy."
"ANOTHER guy?" This time he sounded more surprised, even his mouth gapped a little.
"Yes." Raven frowned, feeling slightly irritated at his brother's response. "Another guy. My feelings are suddenly gender-less now." Wiping his hands on his apron, he moved to the stovetop, stirring a few dark mixtures in the several pots that sat simmering there. Drayfus still looked somewhat astounded. He moved from his dough to the stove, where he could loom over Raven.
"Do tell."
"There's nothing to tell other then that this guy doesn't know what the hell he wants. First he likes me, next he's yelling at me and telling me I have problems." Raven snorted slightly. "Pot calling the kettle black." He grumbled as he moved from the stove. "He just wanted to fuck me at first."
"Did y-"
"No. Stupid question Drayfus." Raven glared back at his brother who just grinned innocently in response. Shaking his head, Raven sighed deeply and grabbed a container. "Not entirely sure I want to at this point. The idea of being the bitch isn't quite appealing. And why the fuck should I?" He was frowning now. "He'll just fuck me then run the fuck away."
"And that bothers you why?"
"I guess because I like him." It was a defeated sigh as Raven rubbed the back of his neck, looking up at the ceiling. Drayfus remained leaning back against the counter, watching his 'little' brother. "He's the guy that was trying to take Jun away from me and always wanted to break my neck."
"Raven... What the fuck?" Again, Drayfus sounded somewhat surprised, though, he didn't look happy about this one. Raven raised a hand to Drayfus and closed his eyes, shaking his head slightly.
"I talked him into having a decent conversation... And to stop being a dickhead towards me. No point in being childish when we're adults."
"Amen to that." Dray said with a snort.
"And well.... I dunno. I mean, he flirted with me the first time and I just shrugged it off. He didn't interest me, even if he did turn out to be somewhat decent and nice. I thought it'd be a nice friendship at the very least." He held up two fingers. "Next conversation was a little different. He was flirting again... And I /KNEW/ what he wanted, but I wanted to see how far I could go... Though. I felt bad because of Jun but... I don't think he's going to come back." Raven looked at Drayfus who was just listening. "Right. So..... I flirted back and was... Very much myself. He didn't seem to know how to handle that then and started to blush and well.... For some reason, I was just hooked."
"Mmhmm...."
"Don't give me that.... I don't understand it myself. All I know is that I want him."
"It's funny hearing you say you want a guy."
"Shut the fuck up Drayfus... There's nothing funny about it."
"I didn't mean like that." Dray sighed, letting his head fall to the side.
"I know what you ment.... And I ment what I said. Dammit Drayfus. Why does it all slip through my fingers?" Raven said as he looked down at his flour and dough covered hands. "I just want to find someone and be able to love them til I die."
"Because.... I guess it just means it's preparing you for something better." Drayfus shrugged his shoulders slightly, resting his hands on top of his head. "And I think we all do Raven."
"I want Royce to be that someone though... Everything just... It feels right and in place with him."
"Then don't give up on him."
"I hadn't planned on it." Raven gave a slight grin. "Only way I'm giving up is if I'm dead."
"And we know you're too stubborn to die."
"Damn straight."
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Raven tidbits
Oct. 13th, 2008 | 01:50 am
The dragon heartless was fairly beautiful for what she was.... And she looked nothing like a heartless. At all. That was, until she started to use her ice powers. A warning from the boss would have been nice on this one..... "Don't fuck with the smaller heartless. The big momma dragon will fuck you up."
All I could remember seeing cleary, was her form in front of me as I started to grow cold and trying to regain my breath from where she had knocked me into the tree. I could hear Royce's shouting, and it suddenly became more angry. My vision was swimming and it hurt to breathe..... I blame the ice that had me secured against the tree. Two large ice crystals in my sholders, pinning me to the large tree.... And I don't know how many smaller ones.... But there were two large ones in my legs, helping with the pinning.
Trying to shift against the tree was a bad idea and I let out a loud frustrated growl. I opened my eyes... Looking at the heartless as she stood, smirking. Her hands beginning to turn into black scaled claws. I looked over and saw Royce encased in a rather large block of ice. A paper umbrella floating above him and it seemed to be dropping snow on him. I had to give a slight smirk despite the pain. He looked rather pissed, and his swearing seemed to get worse the more he struggled. That cute, pink umbrella just seemed to snow harder on him as he did so. He should just stop.
(( Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawl. Skip ))
I think she broke my arm... I heard something snap, but I can't feel anything due to the ice making me feel numb. I let out a startled noise reguardless and my vision seemed to blur. I also felt like I was going to be sick. Why the hell hadn't I passed out yet?
The heartless gave a laugh as her cold claw wrapped around my throat. The pink from her eyes faded until there was nothing left but the tell-tell yellow heartless eyes, now slits.
"Your friend is rather loud." Her cold voice came across my ears in a smooth tone. I winched slightly as I felt those icy claws digging into my neck. Royce was loud... And getting louder by the second. I looked over at him. I swallowed hard, getting that nasty taste of stomach acid out of my mouth. A weak "heh" crossed my lips.
"Yeah...." I managed to say. "He does that sometimes." I was still watching him.... That anger seemed to have faded and he looked more paniced, more... Frantic. Idiot. Didn't he know how to hide his feelings in a battle. I closed my eyes and let my head rest back against the tree, until I felt the pain from her nails digging into my neck and beginning to drag across. I could feel the warm blood running down my cold flesh.
"Aww... Look at him now."
I had glanced up at the blurring heartless. She grabbed my face with her claws, digging her nails in. I wished she'd stop fucking with me. She jerked my head over... It was no use. I couldn't make out Royce any longer, but I could hear him. Faintly. Seemed like I was on the verge of passing out.
"You bitch!" His voice was faint.. So very faint. "STOP THAT! LET HIM GO! TAKE ME!" And other various things... He was pleading for my life..... And he kept trying to push my away.
"Tsk.... You should learn how to address women." The heartless hissed, smirking.
My cheeks bleeding now. Everything was starting to get dark. Royce's voice faded until it was completely gone.
((Totally something different from the first part.))
Those girls in Highschool..... One used for me all she could, then tossed me to the side. The other, she wasn't different... Got what she wanted then I was useless once again.
Then Brishen. She loved me, I loved her. My insecurities pushed her away... Pushed her away to Drayfus. Then... Brishen lost her heart when we were telling each other we still loved one another....... I gained my keyblade only when it was too late to save her.
Kivs was there... I took her for granted. I started to love her and one night she never came home..... Then her heartless shell of a Nobody had the nerve to walk into my parent's bakery. Right in front of my face.... Right when Jun had abandoned me.
Who knew it would have been so hard? So hard to find and keep someone to love.
Royce.
Royce tried to take Jun from me.... Royce tried to break me in half several times.... Royce was finally mature enough after Jun had snuffed us both to actually act like an adult.... Royce flirted, I flirted back... Royce wanted to be those girls in Highschool, I suddenly wished to be his everything.
I guess I was a glutton for the punishment he put me through.
I just wanted to love him. I wanted to cook for him... Bake him sweets... Lay next to him, watching his angelic face as he slept... Wake up to that face, covered in his warmth as I kissed his lips softly, trying to wake him... Care for him when he was sick... Bandage him when he was wounded... Run my fingers through his hair as we curled up on the couch under the same blanket... Kiss his lips while I tell him he's the only one I'll ever want...
I just...
I just wanted....
I just wanted to care for him.
Why the fuck couldn't he just accept it?
All I could remember seeing cleary, was her form in front of me as I started to grow cold and trying to regain my breath from where she had knocked me into the tree. I could hear Royce's shouting, and it suddenly became more angry. My vision was swimming and it hurt to breathe..... I blame the ice that had me secured against the tree. Two large ice crystals in my sholders, pinning me to the large tree.... And I don't know how many smaller ones.... But there were two large ones in my legs, helping with the pinning.
Trying to shift against the tree was a bad idea and I let out a loud frustrated growl. I opened my eyes... Looking at the heartless as she stood, smirking. Her hands beginning to turn into black scaled claws. I looked over and saw Royce encased in a rather large block of ice. A paper umbrella floating above him and it seemed to be dropping snow on him. I had to give a slight smirk despite the pain. He looked rather pissed, and his swearing seemed to get worse the more he struggled. That cute, pink umbrella just seemed to snow harder on him as he did so. He should just stop.
(( Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawl. Skip ))
I think she broke my arm... I heard something snap, but I can't feel anything due to the ice making me feel numb. I let out a startled noise reguardless and my vision seemed to blur. I also felt like I was going to be sick. Why the hell hadn't I passed out yet?
The heartless gave a laugh as her cold claw wrapped around my throat. The pink from her eyes faded until there was nothing left but the tell-tell yellow heartless eyes, now slits.
"Your friend is rather loud." Her cold voice came across my ears in a smooth tone. I winched slightly as I felt those icy claws digging into my neck. Royce was loud... And getting louder by the second. I looked over at him. I swallowed hard, getting that nasty taste of stomach acid out of my mouth. A weak "heh" crossed my lips.
"Yeah...." I managed to say. "He does that sometimes." I was still watching him.... That anger seemed to have faded and he looked more paniced, more... Frantic. Idiot. Didn't he know how to hide his feelings in a battle. I closed my eyes and let my head rest back against the tree, until I felt the pain from her nails digging into my neck and beginning to drag across. I could feel the warm blood running down my cold flesh.
"Aww... Look at him now."
I had glanced up at the blurring heartless. She grabbed my face with her claws, digging her nails in. I wished she'd stop fucking with me. She jerked my head over... It was no use. I couldn't make out Royce any longer, but I could hear him. Faintly. Seemed like I was on the verge of passing out.
"You bitch!" His voice was faint.. So very faint. "STOP THAT! LET HIM GO! TAKE ME!" And other various things... He was pleading for my life..... And he kept trying to push my away.
"Tsk.... You should learn how to address women." The heartless hissed, smirking.
My cheeks bleeding now. Everything was starting to get dark. Royce's voice faded until it was completely gone.
((Totally something different from the first part.))
Those girls in Highschool..... One used for me all she could, then tossed me to the side. The other, she wasn't different... Got what she wanted then I was useless once again.
Then Brishen. She loved me, I loved her. My insecurities pushed her away... Pushed her away to Drayfus. Then... Brishen lost her heart when we were telling each other we still loved one another....... I gained my keyblade only when it was too late to save her.
Kivs was there... I took her for granted. I started to love her and one night she never came home..... Then her heartless shell of a Nobody had the nerve to walk into my parent's bakery. Right in front of my face.... Right when Jun had abandoned me.
Who knew it would have been so hard? So hard to find and keep someone to love.
Royce.
Royce tried to take Jun from me.... Royce tried to break me in half several times.... Royce was finally mature enough after Jun had snuffed us both to actually act like an adult.... Royce flirted, I flirted back... Royce wanted to be those girls in Highschool, I suddenly wished to be his everything.
I guess I was a glutton for the punishment he put me through.
I just wanted to love him. I wanted to cook for him... Bake him sweets... Lay next to him, watching his angelic face as he slept... Wake up to that face, covered in his warmth as I kissed his lips softly, trying to wake him... Care for him when he was sick... Bandage him when he was wounded... Run my fingers through his hair as we curled up on the couch under the same blanket... Kiss his lips while I tell him he's the only one I'll ever want...
I just...
I just wanted....
I just wanted to care for him.
Why the fuck couldn't he just accept it?
That fight, he hadn't expected to survive it. He had actually been ready to die... Or lose his heart. Give himself over to the darkness. He'd wanted to give up. Nothing he was doing against that monster had been effective. Though, he was use to that already. He was quite surprised when he had waken in that hospital bed. Though he was in pain, he was alive. He looked around the room and spotted Royce, sitting in the chair that had been pulled up beside his bed. He instantly felt pained and grimaced. Just what he needed...
Raven laid in the bed, he had turned his head to look away from Royce. He'd spent all that time trying to find Royce after he'd ran off again... And for what? Just to have him sitting by him out of pity? Fuck that. He didn't need Royce's pity. He just wanted his love and to try and help heal his wounds... And what did he get out of it? Nothing but strain, stress and generally heartache. He couldn't remember the last time he tried to fight so hard for someone he wanted, just to be snuffed whenever he thought he finally had them... So fuck Royce's pity. The blonde should have left him there to die. It would sure as hell have been less painful then to have his heart and feelings toyed with like that.
"Raven...." Royce started and reached over to touch the dark haired man. If Raven had been able to pull away, he would have. It even hurt to hear his name come from the other.
Link | Leave a comment | Add to Memories | Tell a Friend
Byx Death
Sep. 16th, 2008 | 09:35 pm
mood: frustrated
Laying on her side, in a puddle of blood. Her arms and legs, broken and shattered. She can't move to even attempt to save herself. Her body, beaten and cut all to hell. Her face, massive damage, mostly at her eyes. Were they even still there? She's blind... In the dark... Alone. Throat's been cut to where she'll die slowly, but not slow enough. Bleeding out.... Laying in the growing puddle. Imagine that, they did bled. Her breathing labored as she panics. Someone will come and save me... They have too... They wouldn't let me die like this. They couldn't. She's barely able to move her body, but tries anyway, only to end up bringing herself more pain. She wants to cry, but that only hurts her worse. She panics, making her more frantic, the crying feeling welling up and causing her already hard breathing to worsen. Someone.... Anyone! Please don't let me die like alone! She could feel herself fading, her ears twitching like mad. She tried to call out, but no sound. Kemix! Ximon, Chixara! Lylhox! Sinevux..... Norexin... Anyone, please.....The tears finally flowing, mixing with the blood as they fell down her already stained cheeks. Someone please! Help! Don't.... I don't want to be alone! Please.... Don't let me die like this. Quiet pleas in her head that will never be heard. Her life continues to fade until she's no more.